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New To Lagos? Here Are The Top 10 Hotels in Ikeja that Count

Value for Money: Top 10 Hotel’s in Ikeja that Count

Sheraton ikeja

Ikeja is the capital of Lagos State and a haven for fun spots in the state. Whether you are a business or leisure visitor, in Ikeja, there is no dull moment. From branches of multinational companies to entertainment centres like Fela’s Afrika Shrine and Ikeja City Mall, you are to find things that will captivate your imagination. As a first time visitor or regular traveller, you do not have to worry about finding a suitable accommodation. Ikeja is home to some of Lagos’ finest hotels and we have made a list of such hotels that offer you the best value for your money.

1. Sheraton Lagos Hotel

30 Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way, 21189 Airport Road

There are only a few 5-star hotels in the country and Sheraton Hotel is one of them. A favourite accommodation choice for the elite, expect only world class treatment at this hotel.

The rooms at Sheraton Lagos Hotel are very spacious and modern. Each room features excellent bedding and large TV panels that make you feel like you are at your very own private theatre, making movie watching a delight. Each room has a dedicated electric kettle, coffee machine, and hair dryers. You can make requests for extra towels if you are so inclined.

Enjoy exquisite meals and assorted drinks at any of the hotel’s 4 restaurants and bars including the Goodies Pub, La Giara, Terrace Bar, and the Crock Pot. Each of the restaurants specialises in a type of cuisine from Nigerian to Italian delicacies. There are no worries about running out of cash as there is an ATM on the hotel ground.

You can also book the club room that offers you complimentary access to the Sheraton Club Lounge, a special TV viewing area, newspapers, and periodicals, and drink vouchers. Workshops and international conferences can also be hosted at the hotel. Sheraton is situated close to Murtala Muhammed International Airport making it easily accessible to travellers and quite convenient for those making a quick transit through Lagos.

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2. Blue Spring Hotel

34B Remi Fani Kayode Avenue, GRA Ikeja

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Many guests testify the peaceful ambience of the Blue Spring Hotel is its major selling point. Though it is located in a busy part of town, once you arrive at the hotel premises, the hum of the city quietens. But that is not all, it is just the beginning of a wonderful stay at the hotel.

The hotel boasts large rooms, neat beddings, spotless bathrooms, clean furniture, and a fast internet connection, just ask anyone who has ever stayed there. Here is what one customer had to say about the internet services;

I really enjoyed my stay at the hotel, the internet was very strong and it made very easy to surf the web with one click pages opened on my electronic devices.

Previous guests of this hotel also attest to its 24 hours supply of power. Travellers would appreciate its nearness to the Murtala Muhammed International Airport and the ease of locating the hotel. The staff is also known for their prompt attention to enquiries. Complimentary services include adequate parking arrangements and top notch security. Book a room at Blue Spring Hotel and obtain good value for your money in quality service and good location.

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3. De Renaissance Hotel

172, Obafemi Awolowo Way, Alausa, Ikeja

Whether it is your first time or your nth time at the De Renaissance Hotel, the treatment is the same. It will meet all expectations you come with, regardless of if your room was pre-booked or gotten last minute. Here, the rooms are very neat and easy on the eyes, with simple yet beautiful interior decorations.

The hotel is particularly close to the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, and other locations like Kalakuta Republic Museum, 5 minutes walking distance to the Ikeja Shopping Mall, and a few minutes to other locations like Calabar Kitchen and Domino’s Piza. More reserved guests will also find this hotel particularly impressive for exclusive services like cushioned outdoor sit-out and in-house dining services. De Renaissance Hotel serves its guests with complimentary snacks and fruits. The hotel’s parking spaces are ample and can accommodate many cars at a time. Guests do not have to worry about the safety of their cars.

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4. Hotel Ibis Hotel Ikeja

23 Toyin Street, Ikeja, Lagos

Have all your lodging needs met on your first stay at Hotel Ibis and be sure to return for another wonderful experience. All the rooms come with fully functioning air conditioners, as well as a constant supply of electricity. Many customers particularly enjoyed staying at Hotel Ibis for its location in GRA, the highbrow area of Ikeja and its proximity to many places of interest.

Checking in at the hotel is seamlessly done as you will find that the hotel staff are friendly, hospitable, and polite. On getting to your room, you will find a coffee machine for your personal use. The ensuite bathrooms have showers and hairdryers. You do not have to worry about cash as there is an ATM on the hotel premises.

Are you a nursing mother or someone in need of special care? This hotel is just for you as there are babysitting services in place, as well as facilities for people with disabilities. You can also relax at the crystal blue-coloured swimming pool. The hotel restaurant serves exquisite buffet breakfast with wide choice of cuisine.

Fun places close to the hotel include Kalakuta Museum, Ikeja City Mall and Dominos Pizza, a visit to any of these is always a nice way to end your beautiful stay at the hotel. A shuttle to and from the airport is also available on request.

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5. Westown Hotel

7, Sheraton-Opebi Link Road, Ikeja

Surrounded by leisure and recreational spots, and a 10-minute drive from the Lagos airport, Westown Hotel is a delightful 4-star accommodation. Whether you are a local or an international guest, you will find that Westown Hotel has something for every taste.

Check-in is swift and effortless for both pre-booked and emergency guests. The hotel offers you great service, warm ambience, and beautiful rooms. Some of the rooms, like the Diplomatic Suite, consisting of a large private lounge, a secretary’s office, and a mini bar.

As a guest at the Westown Hotel, you get to enjoy free breakfasts, as well as a 24-hour restaurant that serves African and continental dishes. The hotel’s rooftop restaurant is especially known for its delicious Thai/Chinese cuisine. Take soothing dips at the rooftop swimming pool and relax at the rooftop bar with glasses of any of the available variety of beverages.

Have a swell time by visiting interesting places near Westown Hotel including the Muson Centre, National Museum, Ikeja Golf Course, and Ikeja City Mall.

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6. Shoregate Hotel

29 Joel Ogunnaike, GRA, Ikeja

Shoregate Hotel is one of the best-rated hotels in Ikeja; most of the customers are known to get full value for their money whenever they come. The staff at Shoregate hotel are also very welcoming and willing to go the extra mile in helping guests on arrival. The rooms are fitted with all the necessities to give you comfort including work tables and chairs. A previous guest likened the bedding “…to that of Premier Inn, London”. The bathrooms are pleasant and private toilets never run of toiletries. The hotel also offers an impressive breakfast buffet, with lots of variety to choose from.

Relax and let your skin come in contact with the natural breeze from the large rooftop space specially reserved for relaxation and to allow guests have an amazing view of the city. You can also request for exclusive services at the 24-hour service desk including car hire services to take you around the city. Places you can visit include the Ikeja Golf Club and Sparkle Hall.

7. Best Western Starfire Hotel

Best Western starfire hotel

Best Western Starfire Hotel welcomes you with its lush greenery and buoyant horticulture, as well as a warm and hospitable reception from its staff. On the rare occasion that you have a complaint about a particular room, a staff is always available to check you into a better fitting room. Previous customers love the cozy, spacious, and clean rooms, as well as the overall security of the premises. The quiet ambience of the environment allows guests the chance for maximum relaxation and a getaway from all the stress.

The hotel is well situated in the highbrow area of Ikeja and only a few minutes from the Lagos international airport. There are a variety of sights you can visit during your stay at Best Western Starfire Hotel including Ikeja Shopping Mall, National Theatre Lagos, and National Museum.

8. Apartment Royale Hotel

4 Wole Ogunjimi Street Off Agbaoku Street

Apartment Royale Hotel-hotels.ng

The rooms are beautifully decorated and fitted with all the necessary appliances and furniture. The wireless internet is quite fast and surfing the web on your mobile devices gets better. The parking space is ample and enough to house a lot of cars at a time. Previous guests at the hotel love the delicious and yet affordable meals served at the hotel restaurant. One guest sums up his stay at the hotel thus;

“My stay at the Apartment Royale Hotel And Suites was really awesome. I tour around hotels a lot and trust me Apartment Royale Hotel And Suite has the best customer service, they welcomed me warmly and so intelligently. They have nice rooms, nice meals, awesome water and power supply. I’m looking forward to going back there soon.”

Getting around the Ikeja metropolis from the hotel is easy. There are cabs outside the hotel to take you to anywhere you want to go. Popular spots for relaxation and entertainment include The Place, Coldstone Creamery, KFC, and Ikeja Shopping Mall.

9. Swiss Cottage Suites

18 Sunday Adigun Street, Alausa

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Swiss Cottage Suites is strategically located in the centre of the city. It is just a 2-minute drive to the State Government Secretariat and a 2-minutes walk to the Ikeja City Mall, a delight for heavy shoppers. The overall service to guests is impeccable. The rooms feel like an extension of home – spacious and beautiful, each featuring fully functioning air conditioners. Some contain VIP room facilities. Guests have full control of which channels to watch on the Cable TV from a variety of choices.

Places of interest you can visit near Swiss Cottage Suites include Lagos State Digital Village, New Afrikan Shrine, National Art Theatre, and Iga Idungaran-OBA of Lagos Palace.

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10. Glonik Hotels

118/120 Adeniyi Jones Avenue, Ikeja

a hotel room - hotels.ngThis is a luxurious hotel and one of the best-rated hotels in Ikeja. It offers you maximum value for your money. It is also the ideal destination for tourists. This is because Glonik Hotels offers tour packages that include guiding you and other tourists to several places of interest in the city, and occasionally outside Lagos. They allow you make choices by offering you an itinerary of interesting natural attractions.

The hotel also arranges free airport shuffle for international travellers. And even if you are not coming in from outside the country, the hotel is situated in an easy-to-find location. Check-in is also seamless. Entertain yourself with fun visits to the Kalakuta Museum and Ikeja City Mall.

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Lagos Island for Dummies: An UgoTalksAlot Guide to Life Lagos Island Ocean

The Island. The créme de la créme of Lagos. The title in all fairness should go to Banana Island in particular, but let’s be honest and objective with the goals we set in this life.

A lot of people live and swim work on the Island because a lot of businesses are situated there. Some people live there to be close to work or other necessities, others live there because JJC carried them there but like everywhere else, the Island has its pros and cons, so here’s what you need to know to make your life a little bit easier.

1. Bring Your GeePee Tank

Remember how I wrote  in a previous post, that there is is no water in Lagos and you need to bring your borehole? Well, this doesn’t apply to most places on the Island. There is plenty of water in Lekki and what you need is a Geepee tank to store all that water. The only issue is, the water doesn’t come from the tap, it comes from the sky and the ground. You may want to consider buying bowls and buckets for packing water from the floor. Also, it may be a wise financial investment to buy shares in the company that makes Dettol because it will be your best friend.

2. Buy a Boat

Does this man have two heads?

A boat is an investment really. If you can afford one, you should probably get it. With your boat, you can enter the ocean and row over to the mainland while your mates are growing old on third mainland bridge.

When everyone is destroying their cars, you can just roll out your boat and enjoy your life. Who needs to go on a cruise ship, when you can row your way across Lekki-Epe Expressway?

Jokes aside, let us take a moment to pray for our friends & family in Lekki and VGC. As the bible says, we should also enemies in state house that have refused to fix drainages. 

3. Bring your gutter.

So as you can see, gutters do not exist in on the Island. Especially in Lekki. They are a myth. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to go there, bring your own from the mainland. On second thought, mainland drainages get as dem be too sha. Maybe you can rent some from Ibadan or Osogbo to buy gutter and bring, theirs is not amazing but it’s much better. 

To be fair, even when the government attempts to create gutters, Nigerians in typical Nigerian fashion will turn it into a dustbin. 

4. Invest in insecticides.

Island mosquitoes are mosquitoes that have gone abroad to gym and they have come back. Yes, IJGB mosquitoes are an actual thing.  These mosquitoes have body, they are woke and they can suck all your blood at once. You won’t even see them coming, you will just start feeling your blood disappear from your body.

Because I like you, I will tell you what to do. Just buy one big Raid, one big Baygon and a medium-sized Mortein. When you have bought them all,  just use them all at once. Make sure you finish everything, then mosquitoes will die. Or at least I hope they will.

5. Your Bank Account Should Have Sense Small.

You want to live on the Island and you don’t have money? You think they share houses for free in VGC? Everything here has rent price on top. Even your house rent has another house rent added on top of it. Even if you buy a house or build your own property, the Island will still collect rent from you.

Think of it this way, rent is so comparatively expensive that everyone has to chip in to help. So if you walk into Ebeano Supermarket to buy something; there is the standard price, then there is VAT, then there is Lekki VAT, then there is rent. So at the end of the day, something that costs N1,000 elsewhere will go for N1,500 or N1,700.

There is also the small issue of the toll gate. That small money you will pay every day. At the end of the month, you would have paid someone’s minimum wage salary. With that one alone, you suppose know say Lagos Island no be for small pikin. Well except the pikin is an OBO (Omo Baba Olowo), rich man pikin.

 

If you know this lifestyle is not for your pocket right now, don’t worry we have you covered. You can check out our guide to Lagos and subscribe to get notifications about our upcoming city guides. You know, I care about you and I’m just trying to help your life.

Don’t forget to comment and share. You don’t know who’s life you are saving.

Lagos for Dummies: An Ugotalksalot City Guide

Lagos. Home to between 12 and 21 million people -depending on who you ask. The land of opportunities, wealth and traffic from hell.  Lagos is what Nigeria wants to be when it grows up, what almost every other state in the country can only dream about. If you blow in Lagos, you have blown in Africa. But with all of it’s glamour, Lagos can be very overwhelming. So let me help you break it down, so you don’t get confused.

  1. There are many smaller Lagoses

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Lagos is divided into 5 parts:

Lagos Mainland; where most of the regular folks stay,

Lagos Island; for the rich big boys and girls, high life lovers and some longer throats.

Banana Island; for those whose fathers are close friends with Dangote, or people who are just mad.

What I like to call ‘the Ogun state annex’; all those people living in Ogun state but claiming they’re in Lagos

And finally, there is Ikorodu; because that place is so far it should be a state on its own. The beautiful thing about Lagos is that she does not discriminate. Whether you live in Ogun state, inside water or on sinking sand, we are all Lagosians.

  1.  We  are Lagos and we are plenty

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Let me give you some perspective, if you ask the New York Times, there are roughly 21 million people in Lagos. The UN says that Ghana’s population is about 27 million, New York has 8.4 million people, London has a little more with 8.7 million people, Berlin has 3.5 million people or that Paris has a little over 2 million people, you get my point? So, if you think you’re just going to walk inside Lagos with one Ghana-must-go bag or Louis Vuitton suitcase (I don’t discriminate), and come and out hustle the hustlers that have been here since, you are very silly. But not wrong, it’s still possible.

  1. Bring your own water. Lagos has none for you.
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Image from Nairaland

If you are thinking about moving to Lagos, make sure you come with your pumping machine. If you can bring your borehole, that is even better. I’m not kidding, bring your borehole with you. You will just create a small space in your compound, or estate and drop it there.

Why? Because Lagos State, unlike other states, does not supply water to its residents. Well, technically, the Lagos State Water Corporation says it supplies water to maybe 30% of Lagos residents, but, I personally have not seen any house that doesn’t have a GeePee tank pretending to be a DSTV dish.

  1. The most important word is BUS

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You may also know it as danfo or molue or whatever you like. But you know what? Bus na bus.. If you come to lagos thinking you can taxi your way around town, oh my God, you’re not even ready. Also if you think that a big boy like Lagos would have a train system that could get you to most places, you are also not ready. It’s not like Lagos doesn’t have money, I mean this is the biggest boy in all the 37 lands (Abuja included), Lagos just has more important things to do. Things like finishing the $6bn Eko Atlantic and Banana Island.

  1. Where will you base?

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Finally and most important thing you need to know, where will you live? If you’re expecting me to answer that question, you’re not serious at all, you can stay there and keep waiting. I should leave my blog and start finding accommodation for you? Are you okay at all?

With all that being said, welcome to Lagos. Bring your patience, your GeePee tank and your hustle; don’t say I didn’t warn you. Have a nice stay.

All Images unless otherwise stated are from  Rotimi Okungbaye check him out!

NYSC Journal: Listening To Corpers Was The Biggest Mistake of My Life

You know that experiment where you tell someone sitting at the beginning of a column of chairs something and ask them to pass it on till it gets to the last person? Usually by the time it gets to the last person it’s totally different, it happened in camp at least twice a day. In fact, it started before camp and by a week into it, I was convinced that otondos where some of the most stupid people God put on earth.

I think my NYSC experience would have been 50% less stressful if I didn’t listen to what other corpers said. It’s not like I went round asking for advice or trying to find answers to questions that were bugging me but a lot of information passed around camp was either done with a bugle, word of mouth, or a poor public address system that meant you had ask someone else.

My first experience with this was when I was making inquires about the documents I would need in camp. People told me I needed 10 copies per document, some said 15 copies. Eventually I ended up looking like a  teacher that was coming to share exam questions to a hundred students. I still have that file in my house and it’s only missing five copies. To think I held that bulky file for three during registration.

The worst was when I redeployed and had to go to the secretariat to register my behind. There were dozens of corpers at the gate trying to make photocopies when I got there. Let me just add that the photocopy war in NYSC is real. I asked what was going on and I was told I needed to photocopy a form 5 times and fill all. I’d have asked why but seeing as the only reason I was asking a corper in the first place was because an official had instructed me to ask a corper, I didn’t have much of choice. At least 30 corpers, stood behind a red barricade and held out forms. There were two girls who collected and returned the forms in batches, running the few meters between the barricade and the wooden kiosks that housed the two photocopiers. Everyone wanted to be in the next batch so there was a lot of pushing and shoving, never mind this was going on under the very hot Lagos sun while wearing khakis and caps.

I was just about to join the queue after suffering in the free form hustle of the red barricade when someone told me that I had to take passports in my NYSC vest and attach to the forms. Despite having like 35 passports in my wallet, I spent another  two hours trying to get new passport photos because, mine were in plain clothes.

I would then rejoin the queue and spend another two hours on a line that never moved. When I eventually made it to the very crowded front of the line, the official only asked for one form with one passport photograph. I was still trying to pull out a form when my eyes caught other peoples forms. Imagine my surprise, when I discovered that   ANY TYPE OF PASSPORT would have been fine.

I thought of finding the person who told me to make five copies and take new passports was too tired to be angry, the money I’ve spent so far on photocopying alleged NYSC documents is at least one months allowee.

 

Some Nigerians Deserve Idi Amin as President 

DISCLAIMER: I couldn’t think of anything better to title this and no this is not a political piece. 😐

One of our boisterous neighbours, is yelling through the windows for my mum and I’m in no mood to listen to that decibel of noise. He tells my sister that our security man just got hit by a motorcycle. I live in an a compound that has about six to seven flats, two gates and one security man and he also serves as our do everything guy. From helping people run errands to being the spokesperson for the compound when NEPA is around, so everyone is concerned. 
The security man, Denis, was hit by a motorcycle, that in an attempt to overtake a car, left the street and headed to the sidewalk and ran right through Denis. Everyone gathers and in the commotion the bike driver disappears. The Hausa malam and his friends across the street and his friends run towards Denis. They try to get him up but notice immediately that his leg is broken, blood is everywhere and is still flowing relentlessly. The only sentence Denis seems to be able to string together is a rather calm “My leg is broken.”
There’s a hospital right across the road, King Solomon’s Hospital, Anthony. It’s directly opposite the accident site and some of the staff even saw the accident happen, but the hospital won’t admit Denis without a police report. Suddenly, three police officers show up in a pick up truck, AK47’s locked and loaded in case someone begins to get any ideas. Apparently, the bike driver went to the station to report the incident. The police try to get him into the hospital but their uniform is not a police report, at least that’s what the hospital insinuates. They want an official police report. I just wonder how they expect a man with a broken leg to start giving a statement to the police in a station that has no electricity. 
The police put Denis in the back of their pick up truck and make their way to Gbadagry.
I wonder if it’s optional for medical practitioners to take the Hippocratic oath because I cannot understand the actions of the hospital. I cannot understand a lot of things Nigerians do these days. Sometimes I think a lot of Nigerians deserve Idi Amin as President and Abacha as vice. It’s really infuriating to think how a motorcyclist will leave the bloody road in the night and just assume no one is walking on the sidewalks. 
Ever since I’ve moved to Lagos I’ve been complaining the streets in residential areas are too narrow, added to that, people park anyhow like wild animals, so maybe I can’t even blame the motorcyclist for not knowing what a sidewalk is. I just hope Denis leg isn’t too badly hurt. 

The Consipracy Theorist’s Guide To Understanding Lagos Heat

Images are not mine and were stolen from Twitter 

  

Don’t be fooled by the weather reports, telling you the weather is 28° and that rain is predicted to fall tomorrow. Don’t let it get your hopes up because it is a set up. The weather is not 28° your sweat soaked shirt can tell you that, the hand fan you’re using inside your supposedly air conditioned office should tell you that.

I don’t need to tell you the weather is not normal, but I need to tell you that it’s the White people that are causing it because this heat is not made for Africa, Yes, the oyibos in their far away obodoyibo that is across the atlantic are the ones causing this heat in Lagos.

They are trying to melt us!

They’ve seen that fuel scarcity will only get us angry it won’t destroy us, they’ve seen that corrupt politicians just make us spend money or data bundles so we can Tweet and comment on Facebook. They have decided to completely exterminate us in a way that no one will suspect suspect them. Can’t you see it, it’s very obvious.

When the sun is facing us, they will increase the Suns temperature with their new technology that is like solar remote control. Can’t you see they’ve been testing it in China and India since. They want us to die from liquefaction. That is why they are now coming up with more excuses to send people to space, they are trying to reach the sun so that they can manipulate it from there to in case the solar remote control doesn’t work.

The obodoyibos don’t want us to progress they envy our resources and they want them without directly dealing with us so they have decided to remove us first.

But we won’t melt. As long as water runs from the showers and hand fans can still be bought…come NEPA come generator we will survive.

The Man On The Street 

His thin legs juggle round in his oversized trousers, his upper body submerged in the parachute that is his shirt. He threads carefully as he approaches his house refusing to permit his big toe to enlarge the hole that is being drilled through his shoe.

His mind races towards what valuable he has left that can be quickly exchanged for money. His children school fees are due and he can’t shake the feeling that any day now, they’ll be sent back from school. He toggles the key in the lock and opens the door. The only sign of life is the creaking sound his door produces. Another reminded that his life can do with some more lubrication to make things easier.

His wife is at her kiosk, she works really hard but never seems to make enough money even on a very good day. He slouches in the worn out couch in what should be his living room, but is actually just the side of the kitchen with the TV and chair. The beauties of one bedroom apartments.

He never thought his life would have taken this turn, never saw it coming. Dreams of grandeur and greatness as a child retired as he grew old and the stark realities took hold. He closes his eyes to take a nap, a part of him hoping to wake up and realizing his entire life has been a dream, another part hoping he doesn’t wake up anymore. Surely he can’t take any more of this life.

He is the man in the street. The political savant, football enthusiast, family man and the one that works day and night to get food for the next night and day. He doesn’t understand where things are headed he only knows the rope of life has clung to his neck and is squeezing the very essence of his existence.

He is the man on the street.

When It Rains, Cars Drown

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Written By Adora Igunma

I attend the AVMCC Youth Church (CYF), an Anglican church in Ikeja and we have this prayer conference programme we do at the beginning of the year and I decided to attend the programme for the first time ever. The programme was for Saturday, 20th June by 2pm. Before then I told my bestie to come pick me up from where I stay in Sabo-Yaba by 10am.

I left my aunt’s place in Surulere a few minutes to 9 and got to Sabo like past 9. I got there, did my makeup, ironed my dress and the waiting started. It started raining and I was getting impatient because I wanted to get to church on time (can’t make God wait).
I called my bestie and he said it’s been raining at where he stayed and he can’t come under the rain. I chilled and slept and woke up by 11am, listened to music, slept and woke up by 12:30pm. I called again and he said it’s still raining.

Ok oh, rain please stop, but noooo, it was like the more I begged the more it fell. 1:30, 1:45, the programme had started and bestie was still not here. I called again and he said except he comes under the rain and I’m like duh, are you walking from your house to where I am. I was so pissed and I thought of going on my own but then, I dint want to go under the rain.

I was so hungry because I hadn’t eaten. My bestie finally arrived like around 3. As the nice person that he is, he said we should stop at an eatery so I could eat. I couldn’t object cos I was really hungry. Almost 2 hours into prayer conference, I was eating…now I think of it, I should have objected because I left God stuff for something irrelevant (really not a wise decision).

Few minutes to 4 we were on our way to Ikeja and the driver saw traffic and wanted to take the faster route, the driver started screaming “yay yay yay!” My bestie asked what was it and the driver stupidly said nothing.

The car had started submerging inside the sea of brown water and I started feeling my legs getting wet and I looked down, lo and behold that sea was entering the car and smoke was coming out of the bonnet, my trouser was already soaked to my knee. The cab stopped and we had to come down to face the sea, with my load (because I was going home that day).

At this point, I was shaking because I had never experienced anything like that. My bestie had to remove his snickers (which were already soaked) to walk in the flood to help push the man’s cab. I had to walk on d high ground.
If you know Yaba tech or WAEC road, you would know the pavement with flowers, I had to squeeze myself to pass by that, before I came down and walked forward to a safe place. I was so…I don’t even know the word to use. That was the first time I experienced such. We got a ride to Maryland and took a cab and we finally got to church by 5 (3 hours into d prayer conference). Praise God it was still on and I got something from it. But the kind of cold wey do me ehhhn…kai!

I just concluded that that was my punishment from God for changing my priority. Yeah…I know it’s a long gist but I was told to write.

Educating The White People

My Name is Ugochukwu and I a Nigerian. I do not speak “Nigerian” and if you visit any other sites on the Internet besides Twitter, Instagram MediaTakeout and TMZ, you would know there is no such language as “African.”

Like I said, I am a Nigerian, from the Federal Republic of Nigeria not the United States of Africa. You would know that Africa was a gigantic continent if you had half of a brain. 

Moving on, I live in Lagos. Lagos is one of the worlds busiest cities, with gigantic buildings and busy streets bustling with life from as early as 4am till as late as 11pm. The hustle is so much that sometimes it can really be overwhelming. My point here is this, there are no huts in Lagos, neither do we walk the streets with animals. and there are more people here than you may have probably seen in your life. 

And no, not all Africans like animals. I personally can’t stand any animal that’s not a bird. In fact “Africans” and “animals” do not leave under the same roof, you do and I must say it is quite weird. Which makes me wonder, which of us actually “lives with animals.” That’s my opinion anyway. 

But it’s not your fault that you are ignorant of all these facts. You watch too much nollywood movies and you fail to remember that Lion king was a cartoon about the Animal Kingdom not the African CONTINENT. 

I know you may not be trying to be offensive, that’s what you said anyway, but you must understand your impression of Africa is making you come off as very uneducated.

 Are you uneducated? Of course you’re not? I hope you’re not? I don’t know anymore!

By the way, I blame Nollywood for this!

NEPA, Boredom, GOtv: The Story So Far.

H-I Never H-espered This
-One Random guy with ‘H’ Factor

NEPA, PHCN or whatever it is called now and I usually got on very well in the last 10 years of my life that I was away from Lagos. On my return a few months ago it seems my childhood rivalry with NEPA had been renewed. I mean, I am treated with disrespect. They take the light in the middle of football matches and at the climax of my favorite shows. They don’t even have the courtesy to take it during the commercial breaks. Lyf in 9aija sef. I don’t even want to talk about them always taking light when rain is about to fall. It’s like they have it on automatic switch.

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I initially anticipated that this holiday would be interesting. It’s the exact opposite. I have lost count of the amount of mini-concerts I have done In my bedroom with the mirror as my only audience and the torchlight for a microphone. (Don’t even say anything you’ve done it before!) I decided to read novels and I would read them till my eyes started paining me just to avoid boredom. I played games with similar results. So far the highlights of my day has become watching the World Cup and CNN news centre (with generator of course).

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The person that thought of GOtv had a brilliant idea but in the Euphoria of the Eureka moment he got carried away before the idea finished saturating his thoughts. Imagine watching the World Cup at the peak of the attack when the goal may just come. Suddenly you see “searching for signal”  flash across your screen. By the time signal is found, they have scored and finished showing the replay. Enough said.

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Anyway hope you are having more fun than I am and please don’t  forget to leave a comment and let me know how you are doing I have nothing better to do than read all day.