Category Archives: Relationship

15 Places Where You Can Find Rich Husbands in Lagos

Wouldn’t you love to have a BellaNaija wedding? To have that Valentino dress, make everyone jealous and all the ladies want to be you? Wouldn’t it be nice to have all your money troubles disappear? You can do things at your own pace from a point of comfort. Or maybe you’re just tired of sharing the bills and having to understand his financial situation.  Baby, you know things are tough right now. 

Girl, you deserve the best in life! Sometimes, you might not just be so lucky to have it happen to you by accident. So go seek it out. Go and find the love of your life that will pamper you will luxury. He might not be hanging out in your usual circle. So…you have to find him in his.

There are a few places in Lagos that are known to be where your future bae hangs out. Most of these places are in Lagos Island, so you might actually want to consider moving there -if you don’t already. Keep reading for a cheat sheet on landing a life of wealth.

 

1. Protea Hotel

protea-hotel-ikeja-lagos-.jpgThis is one of the few establishments in Ikeja that the rich young men are known to congregate. You can also cup yourself an oyibo bae if you play your cards right.

 

2. Four Points

Four-Points-by-Sheraton-Lagos-Hotel.jpgFour Points by Sheraton is the younger cooler version of the vintage Sheraton Hotel. The clientele is notably younger too but the fatness of their wallets is not to be underestimated.

 

3. Eko Hotel

Eko Hotel ans SuitesYou are seeing the trend right? Rich men like to hang out in hotels in Lagos. But not just any hotels, the high-rise ones with expensive rooms. Just stroll in, talk to the receptionists, hang around the lobby and flirt. You never know you might get lucky.

Legend has it that men in Eko Hotel are also considerably generous.

4. Sheraton Hotel

sheratonlagosext.jpgSheraton!. You can’t go wrong with this old faithful. Just buy yourself the most expensive bottle of coke you will find in Lagos, sit down and look pretty.

 

5. Palms Shopping Mall ( specific places like Cafe Vergano)

Palms Shopping Mall Lekki-hotels.ng.jpgYou are probably thinking, “Is it not the same shoprite I go to every day?” No, it isn’t. There’s Palms Shopping Mall and there’s Palms Shopping Mall. You need to open your third eye. There are several lounges in the mall you’ve probably never thought of entering. You should. Your future husband is there.

 

6. Atican Beach Resort

atican beach resort aerial view-hotels.ng.jpgCompared to Elegushi Beach and Oniru Beach, Atican Beach is probably not considered popular. But… it’s one of the Island’s best-kept secrets. It’s private so you can easily walk into a rich young man looking for some relaxation or maybe a group of rich friends just hanging out.

7. Lekki-Ikoyi Bridge at 6 am

Joggers on the Lekki Ikoyi link bridge.jpgWomen are masters at multitasking. It is a known fact. So why not make it worth your while. You can stay fit and meet the love of your life all at once. Here’s how to do it. Wake up in the early am, dress in really nice up-to-date sportswear. No hair net, no hair rollers. Pack that thing is a cute ponytail. Look your best but make sure it’s effortless. You want to give the impression that you woke up like this. Now jog across Lekki-Ikoyi bridge, but not too hard, you have to look like you are floating with every step.

When a car headlight approaches, look unbothered. But also observe the caliber of the vehicle coming your way. It’s the very first impression that counts in this case. You may not meet your Mr. Right the first time, but if you are consistent, you’ll get noticed.

8. Intercontinental Hotel

intercontinental-hotel-lagos.jpegAnother hotel lobby lined with gold, get to digging.

 

9. Lagos Oriental Hotel

lagos-oriental-hotel-lagos-.jpgOlamide shot his “Lagos Boys” video here. So that should tell you something.

 

10. Murtala Mohammed Airport

murtala-muhammed-international-airport-lagos-nigeria-mmia.jpgDon’t all Hollywood romances have an airport scene? Why should our dear MMA be any different? Just be careful not to encounter an overdressed “Importer Exporter” claiming to be an O.B.O.

 

11. Wedding Receptions in Lagos Island

wedding-events-hotels.ng.jpgGo to the wedding looking like a “Slay Mama”, make sure you walk around a lot so he can get several views of you. There’s always that one guy at the wedding that catches your eye and if the wedding is on the Island, then your chances of catching a sugar bae increase exponentially.

 

12. La Mango Restaurant

la-mango-lagos-hotels.ngLa Mango is arguably the most talked restaurant and bar on the mainland. So of course, rich men like to go there. They also particularly love its outdoor seating, it’s breathtaking poolside and the rooftop terrace. Do you know what this means for you? You can wear your swimsuit and show off your best assets.

 

13. Ikeja City Mall (specific places like Rhapsody’s and Spurs)

Rhapsody's Ikeja City Mall.jpgLike I said about The Palms, these malls are not to be underestimated. Look beyond what you see.

 

14. Zenbah

zenbah-hotels.ngThis is one of the most expensive cocktail places in Lagos. You know what that means. No further explanation needed.

 

15. New Age Churches

House on the Rock.jpgElevation Church, House on the Rock, COZA, Guiding Light Assembly and all the “New Age Churches” are the in thing now. What’s better than a rich man who enjoys the presence of God?

There you have it. You’ve got all the tools. Now go forth and prosper. Don’t be selfish, share this with others. You will need a wingman when you go to these places anyways. Please invite me to your wedding, this advice is not for free, I want to eat party rice.

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Dear Wives, Girlfriends & Side Chicks, When It’s Time For Football…

On the football matter, it is sacred. It is simple as that.

The only thing permitted to interrupt the football match are replays of the game. Obviously, NEPA can also interrupt because they are unruly and don’t have self- respect, but that’s not the point.

The football game is not a time for you to make jokes. Even if you’re

the love child of Kevin Hart and Chris Rock the joke will not be funny.

The game is not a time for you to complain about lack of attention. Ask yourself why it’s only during football games you remember you need attention. It’s because you have allowed the devil use you.

Never support the opposition just so my team will lose. It is serious ground for contemplation of divorce, break up or desidechickification.

Don’t ask questions unrelated to football. Like seriously couldn’t they wait?

The live game is not the best time to be taught how football works. Don’t ask us to define the concept of offside, or why it wasn’t a penalty when we’re too busy contemplating why the ref is the 12th player for the other team.

Don’t ever…EVER say that “It’s just a game”. It’s not, it’s life or death.

Let’s be real

I’m done.

It’s over

I can’t do this anymore

Goodbye you scum.  See you never.

But baby, what’s wrong?  Tell me

Whatever it is I’ll fix it

Don’t leave me

 

I’m tired of your lies

I’m tired of your games

I’m done.  I’m leaving

And let’s be real here

You don’t deserve me

 

But I’m sorry

Darling I love you

I can’t be without you

I’ll change I mean it

Whatever it is I’ll do it

 

You’ll change?

Yes I will

You’ll get your life together ?

You’ll treat me with respect ?

You’ll put the alcoholism to rest?

You will?

 

Yes I will.

I’m done.  I’ll stop

Nothing is worth losing you

I love you

Don’t go

 

Well, now that you’ve put it that way

How could I not stay?

Unless of course, I’ve heard it all before

You worthless piece of shit

I’m not falling for it anymore

Let’s be real

You’ll never change

And I’ll be the one hurting

So I’m done

I’m leaving

 

It’s over

No baby please

I’m done

I’ll do anything

I’m leaving

Don’t go

Delete my number

Ada no…

Forget my name

I wish I’d never met you

But since I have, I’ll be real.

I know I’ll never be the same

 

 

 

Partly inspired by Toke Makinwa’s “On Becoming”

How To Date An Introvert

Introvert-Extrovert relationships are problematic. They are polar opposites and their differences are not habits or actions that can be changed relatively easily with proper conditioning, the differences are personality oriented.

It’s about how people react in social contexts and how it affects them. Factors like social anxiety; how nervous socializing makes people, shyness, deep thought help differentiate introverts and extroverts but more overlooked is social energy.

I am an introvert and socializing drains me. I can think of millions of excuses not to attend a social event unlike my sister who can think of million reasons to mingle.

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I wish I had known what you are about to read a few months ago but I hope someone here gets it in time to keep them together with the person of their dreams.

  1. It’s not by force to be literally together forever

Most introverts will give you grief before you get them out of the house, it’s the way we are and we really don’t need a reason to not want to go out.

pwovn

As an extrovert what you do is to know which battles to fight. Choose events and keep your feet down for your partner to attend and if they know about it in advance it helps a lot. It gives them the time to mentally prepare (cast demons, bind devils and become transfigured). You also need to be okay not going to events with your significant other but it may take a while. An introvert may forever hate spontaneous social events but there are a lot of other things to be spontaneous about. Just give them time to peel away the layers and reveal their real faces.

introverts

  1. You don’t have to leave together

Couples who have been married for a long time have learned the importance of going to events with different cars, you may need to borrow a leaf. If you drag an introvert out they will definitely get tired long before you. Some people will persevere and stay till the end others just can’t. So if you’re dating someone who isn’t longsuffering learn to let them go home because sooner or later they’re going to unwittingly ruin your event with their sour mood. They’re really just drained.

  1. Peace, Space & Quiet

Introverts need alone time, think of it as eating food to get energy. You need to give space or at the very least quiet. It’s worse when your partner works in a very social they space they make come home bright and happy but that’s really the last bar of the battery giving notification that it’s about to die. People often mistake it for mood swings and although in some ways that’s what it is, it’s nothing a period of peace and quiet can’t fix. Sometimes just seat with your partner and Netflix and chill. 635915427285016541-992298832_635631062252597205103151809_introvert-mind

  1. Know how to converse.

While extroverts are extremely good at conversing if you’re in a relationship with one you have to learn how to take your game to the next level. Introverts are quiet a lot of times because the discussion hasn’t pulled our strings. When that happens watch us dominate the conversation. Think of it as laying the foundation then allowing us to build the rest of the house. Some introverts prefer texts to face to face communication, try and find that right balance for your relationship. A word of advice serial questions is not a great way to get introverts to talk, but it is a way a lot of introverts often try to get people to talk.

  1. Be Yourself

A lot of times extroverts try to tame themselves to become more introverted and vice versa and this doesn’t work because you will end up killing yourself and your relationship. You want to reach a compromise not a conformity.  Introverts are great listeners, do your thing and talk. Soon they’d take over the conversation. You can scale down social events you attend together or you can just have more compact social events with a few friends as against a full blown party. Be crazy even when your partner is the sane one in the room, they love it that way even though they may never tell you.

Most importantly have clear and straight conversations about limits and know how much solitude you as an extrovert can handle and how much mingling your introverted partner can take without needing to enter the ground to find peace.

To both introverts and extroverts know your limits but don’t be stubborn about it, be flexible and challenge yourself take on a little more adventure and a little more routine most importantly meet yourselves halfway

NONE OF THE IMAGES USED IN THIS POST ARE MINE.

My Gay Experiences Part 4

So maybe I was talking in class, in my defense the lecturer wasn’t audible and my ears are to small to be strained. Also, it was one of those general courses that the whole graduating class offers. I was sitting somewhere close to the front (because I’m a selectively serious student) and the lecturer reading the bio data of the lecturer that was actually going to take the course spotted me and was pointing in my direction. Naturally I sat up and pretended I had been listening the whole time.

When he is done reading the bio data, he welcomes the other lecturer gets off the stage and begins to work towards my direction. I have a good idea of what’s going to happen, or at least I thought I did.

When he gets to where I’m sitting he stops and begins to ask me and the person I was talking to (who happens to be a Princess from Anambra state, or at least we call her Princess, I don’t know who’s traditional royalty anymore).

I bend down, pretend to try and get something out of my bag but I’m actually admiring his pretty cool looking but fake Italian shoes (Disclaimer: I have no way of identifying what real Italian shoes look like, I’m bush like that). So he’s essentially taking to the Anambra Princess (it’s important that you don’t confuse her with a Princess of Warri that I know, who is also in no way related to this story), and I’m window shopping on his feet.

My head was probably down for a few seconds but while its down I sense it’s time to lift if up. As I do that, the mans hand comes slowly but surely too my face. In the few split seconds that it takes his hand to get to my face, I mentally eliminate the possibility of a slap but I’m still clueless and decide to engage facial evasive maneuver.

It doesn’t work at all, his hand latches to my face and begins to toggle my beards. Herein is the problem; I HAD NO BEARDS! He was essentially rubbing my chin and the few strands that the clipper had missed when I shaved, all the while smiling like he was looking at his wife 

After this very awkward ordeal, the Princess of Anambra tells me that he said “fine boy”. Herein is the second problem; HE CAME TO SCOLD ME AND IS NOW CALLING ME FINE BOY!

Therefore, I’ve written this so that for all intents and purposes it would be documented that

I’m not gay

I like women

Although I’m single but no longer searching … Well I like women

The Opportunity Cost For Happiness

Written By Seunla O.

Recently a thought has been popping through my mind and that is you cant have it all, or at least you cant have it all on a plain ground. You cant have the perfect girlfriend, spend time with her all the time, play games and have fun with friends always and be a first class student. You cant be that workaholic who works day and night and wont pay attention to actually living life until he has fulfilled that wish list like those goals to have a perfect good happy family.
We all saw what happened to Benny Hinn. I heard also of the story of one of the featured Men of God in the book Gods Generals how on his death bed he would trade every miracle that happened through him for a happy family. I know a couple of pastors who are on fire on the outside but their families are on fire!!
Then what is the end game ultimately? Is it all about financial independence? Look at it some people will hustle for first class but ultimately it would be the dullard of the class who gets the awesome job first, so what is the end game? Is it worth the stress? Or is it that feeling of achievement that we are striving for?
For me the end game is not how much money you have or how much of your wish list you fulfill, but being happy. Being your best and contented in every area of your life and not just stopping at yourself but planting these seeds into those around you.
Im just saying 

MY GAY EXPERIENCES & OTHER STORIES (Part 3)

We are in church, worshiping the lord but unknown to me a man had been worshiping the lord and gazing at me. After the service ends, I am standing outside waiting for my mum who was performing some ministrations of greetings, when a man works up to me and grabs my hand.

He is looking at me in the eye as if he has something very personal to say. His grip is really tight and I would rather have my hand free. He asks me for my name and at first I am hesitant, because this is all just really awkward. I tell him my name hoping it would get him to leave my hand or at least say what he wants to say a little faster.

Suddenly he has this smile on his face that looks like the Cheshire cat in Alice in the wonderland. It’s also very uncomfortable when a man you don’t know walks up to you, holds your hand and starts smiling.

He spends the next few minutes telling me how handsome I am, how he likes my carriage and on and on. As if God saw the agony in my heart, my mum finishes her greeting ministry and comes to interrupt this “special moment”. She too is puzzled and although she doesn’t show it, she would ask me when we get to the car. Her response to the story was a deep “hmmmm”.

Anyway the man has never disturbed me with that smile again although we’ve met in church countless times, maybe I was a little paranoid that they at church and misread the whole thing or maybe he had a change of heart, only God knows what really happened but I would like to think I was a little bit paranoid. 

MY GAY EXPERIENCES & Other Stories (Part 1)

image

Let me first clear the atmosphere. I UgoTalksAlot and all my other personalities are not homosexual, bi-sexual or any other sexual apart from the traditional man and woman sexual (whatever that’s called nowadays).
Secondly, I am writing a novel for some of the weirdest reasons and so I may not be able to blog as I frequently do. Please have mercy and don’t forget me, I know the internet is a very big space, if you are interested in seeing the ever changing manuscript (because I honestly don’t know if I will publish it) just send me a mail at ugotalksalot@gmail.com. Now into the first of my three part story.
I was a fine baby, if I grew up into a fine young man, it remains to be seen. Some of my friends have told me at one point or another that I have a fairly decent female fan club. Honestly, I don’t believe it because I’ve been single for too long. A lady did send me a message that she wanted to make babies with me but then she disappeared and I later found out she wasn’t single. But every now and then I get approached by men and it is very disturbing.
The first time it happened was when I was in my first year at University, not long after I resumed, a guy at one of the book shops where I was photocopying all those endless registration papers started looking at me funny. He was the guy doing the photocopying.
When it got to my turn, the guy took his time to go through as much of my personal information as he could, from all my nomenclatures to my state of origin and my academic records. After photocopying, the guy said I was from his place and that if I needed anything, I should just let him know. I thought he was interested in getting close to me to begin friendly extortion of my limited allowee and so I began avoided him.
But everyone knows how impossible it is to be fresher doing registration and avoid the photocopy machine. One day he asked that I come see him at the end of the day anytime, which I made a mental note not to.
Unfortunately for me, one day, I had an emergency and I needed a photocopy real quick, it was around 5pm and this man was my only hope. I went there and I was the only one. As soon as I entered, the man locked the door. My heart was racing and I was looking around for what to hit him with if it came to that. I saw a broken part of a chair, and I moved close to it.
The man began to talk to me about how he liked my fingernails, the colour of my tie, how handsome I was, the colour of my tie and all other things. Remaining small the man would have said “I like your shape”.
At one point the man grabbed my hand and was examining it in a very sensual manner. I was vigorously wriggling my hand out of his hand and the man didn’t even seem to notice. I was in full panic mode at this point. How was I going to explain that my first sexual encounter had been at the forceful hands of a 40smth year old man? I wasn’t going to.
I had two options to tell him that I REALLY needed to go or pound his head with a stick. Fortunately he let me go on the condition that I would return. I put up the best fake smile in my arsenal and nearly ran out.
When I would eventually share the story with some of my friends, I found out that he had tried similar stunts with two of them.
I made sure never to return there. I was avoiding him like the plague and rightly so but it was nearly impossible to pull of every time. Eventually whenever we did meet he stopped looking at me funny and I can’t help but wonder who the next victim is?

Loyalty

I love loyal people, there’s nothing I would trade for one loyal friend, someone that will jump off a cliff with me if its worth it. 

I love people that stand by you through thick and thin, people courageous enough to call out my stupidities and idiosyncrasies and strong enough to support me without allowing their knees to tremble under the weight of jealousy. I don’t do short term commitments, you’re either in it for the long haul or you’re not in it at all. 

But of course, life is cruel and it rotates the human resources so that people come and people go. But till life transfers you or me to someone else, I intend to be loyal and I would love if you do the same.

Dear Akpo: When You Are In Love…

There are few people you will come across in your life that steal something deep within you. It’s like they steal your brain. You catch yourself repeatedly doing thinks that are unlike you. You begin to go places you normally wouldn’t and do things you normally wouldn’t. Your aren’t doing this to feel among, maybe to impress but definitely not to obtain a sense of belonging. 
All you want to do is catch a glimpse of the person that stole from you. You just want to say ‘hi’ and string up a conversation. You want to make her laugh and you love seeing her smile. You want to gaze into her eyes whether they are black, blue or just plain grey. You want her, to trust you, confide in you and tell you her story, but first you want her to notice you. 
Your desires force you to hang around hoping she passes by. She’s the only thing your mind can or even wants to grasp. It’s like a disease that has rendered your mind to be subject to every whim of your emotions. You try to fight it but you can’t; it will take an atrocious event and weeks of mourning to restore your mind to a semblance of what it used to be. 
It isn’t a crush of a time bomb that you can just ride out from a safe distance. It’s so real, it changes your mood when you see her, you force yourself to remain composed when she walks by because in your head, your emotions rage like an inferno. You enter bouts of mini-depression when she’s away but you take comfort in her images you unknowingly stored I. Your head. You replay them like your favorite movie, watching it like its the first time. 
But there is a fear in your heart that you are not noticed, or even worse you are just her friend. That word friend, it daggers your heart, it is your greatest fear. And so you wait in your chair, counting her steps for her as she walks in your direction. You hope the smile on her face is yours to receive. You begin to smile back as you continue counting her steps. But she shows no sign of slowing down. She walks past you into the arms of someone else, and in that moment your whole world crashes. 
But then, in a miracle of mercy, she turns around and smiles at you, pulls the sit beside close you, looks into your eyes and tells you “hi.”
P.S: The Header is my first successful attempt at graphic designing.
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