Category Archives: Life

New Music: Made In Naija 4Runner ft. Semi

Nigerian rapper, 4Runner finally dishes out the official mp3 version to the highly anticipated record celebrating Nigeria and Nigerians.
Made in Naija is an afrobeat record which features Semi Boomba and is produced by Tamuno Belema.
This Afro hip hop record reveals 4runner’s musical style with a bit of influence from the musical icon, Fela.

Enjoy below and don’t forget to share your thoughts.
Twitter & Instagram: @4runner116, @semi_boomba @williambelema
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Top 10 Hangout Spots in Abuja

Abuja isn’t just Nigeria’s political capital. In many ways, it’s the fun city of Nigeria. Abuja is the city with all levels of entertainment, but somehow, many people don’t know where the cool spots are, especially if you new to the city. Lucky for you, there’s an easy guide to having a fun time in Abuja.

  1. The Bank

bank20ab-161-56e82ae479c6eThis is a nightclub located along Aminu Kano Crescent, Wuse II. Some call it the Quilox of Abuja. At the Bank, you’ll enjoy a great mix of music, fun and fashion. If you are lucky, you might catch your favourite celebrity dancing along with you!

Hotels close to The Bank, Abuja
Transcorp Hilton Abuja
Rockview Hotel
Crown Princess Hotels 
Summerset Continental Hotel

2. Blucabana

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The Blucabana is a restaurant and cafe located in Mabushi, away from the hustle and bustle of major city areas. Pay the place a visit, enjoy a good meal and have a good time.

Hotels Near BluCabana
Sheraton Abuja Hotel
Hatfield Hotel, Jabi

3. Blake Resort

abuja-nigeria-blakes

The Blake Resort is a great place for fun, hanging out with friends or a night out. Enjoy an outdoor experience in a serene environment. It is nestled at Muhammed Bello Way, Garki II, Abuja.

Hotels Near Blake Resort
Emirates International Hotel
La Don Hotels

4. The Trukadero Place

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The Trukadero Place is the go-to spot for bowling in Abuja. The establishment is located in  131B Ademola Adetokunbo Crescent, Wuse II, Abuja.

Apart from bowling, you can also enjoy a variety of billiard games, an amusement park, and a restaurant. This is one of the best places to be in Abuja.

Hotels Near The Trukadero Place
Cross Road Hotel (Formerly known as Villa U Hotels)
Chateau de Trybze
Beverly Hills Hotels

5. Cubana Lounge

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The Cubana Lounge is a great night club in Wuse II. The club features a private jet in the middle of the club.

Hotels Near The Cubana Lounge
Dreamland Suites
Kryxtal Suites Wuse 2
Summit Villas Suites

6. The Secret Garden

best-pizza-in-abuja
The Secret Garden is located in Riverplate Park, off Ahmadu Bello Way. It is a perfect outdoor spot for solitary relaxation or spending quality time with friends and family. It’s also home to the best pizza in Abuja.

Hotels Near The Secret Garden
Bolton White Hotel

7. Sky Bar Rooftop Lounge

header_sky-bar-rooftop-lounge-summerset-abujaThis is a picturesque rooftop bar and one of the most luxurious locations in Abuja. This lounge in Asokoro is great for an intimate night for your special someone.

Hotels Near Skye Bar Rooftop Lounge
Barcelona Hotel

8. Millennium Park

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Millennium Park is a grand expanse of greenery beautiful for any time of day. At night, the park is especially breathtaking with its subtle lighting and numerous water fountains. Grab a blanket and some food and head over to the park for a nice time.

Hotels near Millennium Park, Abuja
Pope John Paul Catholic Guest House
Orient Hotel

9. Jabi Lake

3316789_origJabi Lake is the closest to a beach experience you can get in Abuja. In some ways, it’s a lot more than a beach with its numerous water sports and the newly completed Jabi Lake Mall offering you endless possibilities.

It’s a great place to spend time as a group, shop, enjoy the view from the terrace or just catch a movie.

Hotels Near Jabi Lake
Nugget Hotels
Reiz Continental Hotel
Ritman Hotels

10. Gurara Falls

guraraThough located on the outskirts of the city borders, Gurara Falls is too beautiful a location to be left out of this list. The fall has amazing scenes of rock formations together with the beautiful flora of evergreen trees and bushes, rivers, ponds and waterfalls all around you. It is located between Suleja, Abuja and Minna, the Niger state capital.

On your way to Gurara Falls, you can make a stop at the glorious national site that is Zuma Rock.

Abuja people, did I miss any place? Don’t beat me, just let me know. Comment comment comment

15 Places Where You Can Find Rich Husbands in Lagos

Wouldn’t you love to have a BellaNaija wedding? To have that Valentino dress, make everyone jealous and all the ladies want to be you? Wouldn’t it be nice to have all your money troubles disappear? You can do things at your own face from a point of comfort. Or maybe you’re just tired of sharing the bills and having to understand his financial situation.

Girl, you deserve the best in life! Sometimes, you might not just be so lucky to have it happen to you by accident. So go seek it out. Go and find the love of your life that will pamper you will luxury. He might not be hanging out in your usual circle. So…go and find him in his.

There are a few places in Lagos that are known to be where your future bae hangs out. Most of these places are in Lagos Island, so you might actually want to consider moving there -if you don’t already. Keep reading for a cheat sheet on landing a life of wealth.

 

1. Protea Hotel

protea-hotel-ikeja-lagos-.jpgThis is one of the few establishments in Ikeja that the rich young men are known to congregate. You can also cup yourself an oyibo bae if you play your cards right.

 

2. Four Points

Four-Points-by-Sheraton-Lagos-Hotel.jpgFour Points by Sheraton is the younger cooler version of the vintage Sheraton Hotel. The clientele is notably younger too but the fatness of their wallets is not to be underestimated.

 

3. Eko Hotel

Eko Hotel ans SuitesYou are seeing the trend right? Rich men like to hang out in hotels in Lagos. But not just any hotel, the high-rise ones with expensive rooms. Just stroll in, talk to the receptionists, hang around the lobby and flirt. You never know you might get lucky.

Legend has it that men in Eko Hotel are considered generous.

 

4. Sheraton Hotel

sheratonlagosext.jpgSheraton!. You can’t go wrong with this old faithful. Just buy yourself the most expensive bottle of coke you will find in Lagos and look pretty.

 

5. Palms Shopping Mall ( specific places like Cafe Vergano)

Palms Shopping Mall Lekki-hotels.ng.jpgYou are probably thinking, “Is it not the same shoprite I go to every day?” No, it isn’t. There’s Palms Shopping Mall and there’s Palms Shopping Mall. You need to open your third eye. There are several lounges in the mall you’ve probably never thought of entering. You should. Your future husband is there.

 

6. Atican Beach Resort

atican beach resort aerial view-hotels.ng.jpgCompared to Elegushi Beach and Oniru Beach, Atican Beach is probably not considered popular. But… it’s one of the Island’s best-kept secrets. It’s private so you can easily walk into a rich young man looking for some relaxation or maybe a group of rich friends just hanging out.

7. Lekki-Ikoyi Bridge at 6 am

Joggers on the Lekki Ikoyi link bridge.jpgWomen are masters at multitasking. It is a known fact. So why not make it worth your while. You can stay fit and meet the love of your life all at once. Here’s how to do it. Wake up in the early am, dress in really nice up-to-date sportswear. No hair net, no hair rollers. Pack that thing is a cute ponytail. Look your best but make sure it’s effortless. You want to give the impression that you woke up like this. Now jog across Lekki-Ikoyi bridge, but not too hard, you have to look like you are floating with every step.

When a car headlight approaches, look unbothered. But also observe the caliber of the vehicle coming your way. It’s the very first impression that counts in this case. You may not meet your Mr. Right the first time, but if you are consistent, you’ll get noticed.

8. Intercontinental Hotel

intercontinental-hotel-lagos.jpegAnother hotel lobby lined with gold, get to digging.

 

9. Lagos Oriental Hotel

lagos-oriental-hotel-lagos-.jpgOlamide shot his “Lagos Boys” video here. So that should tell you something.

 

10. Murtala Mohammed Airport

murtala-muhammed-international-airport-lagos-nigeria-mmia.jpgDon’t all Hollywood romances have an airport scene? Why should our dear MMA be any different? Just be careful not to encounter an overdressed “Importer Exporter” claiming to be an O.B.O.

 

11. Wedding Receptions in Lagos Island

wedding-events-hotels.ng.jpgGo to the wedding looking like a “Slay Mama”, make sure you walk around a lot so he can get several views of you. There’s always that one guy at the wedding that catches your eye and if the wedding is on the Island, then your chances of catching a sugar bae increase exponentially.

 

12. La Mango Restaurant

la-mango-lagos-hotels.ngLa Mango is arguably the most talked restaurant and bar on the mainland. So of course, rich men like to go there. They also particularly love its outdoor seating, it’s breathtaking poolside and the rooftop terrace. Do you know what this means for you? You can wear your swimsuit and show off your best assets.

 

13. Ikeja City Mall (specific places like Rhapsody’s and Spurs)

Rhapsody's Ikeja City Mall.jpgLike I said about The Palms, these malls are not to be underestimated. Look beyond what you see.

 

14. Zenbah

zenbah-hotels.ngThis is one of the most expensive cocktail places in Lagos. You know what that means. No further explanation needed.

 

15. New Age Churches

House on the Rock.jpgElevation Church, House on the Rock, COZA, Guiding Light Assembly and all the “New Age Churches” are the in thing now. What’s better than a rich man who enjoys the presence of God?

There you have it. You’ve got all the tools. Now go forth and prosper. Don’t be selfish, share this with others. You will need a wingman when you go to these places anyways.

5 Top Events in Lagos to Look Out for in September

September is here! It’s the end of summer aka rainy season in Lagos. Time to cash in on the last of the summer fun. There’s a lot to choose from, whether it is concerts, exhibitions or shows, attend something. Don’t dull yourself this September.

Here, we’ve curated a list of some fun events in Lagos has to offer and highlight all the important information you may need. You’ll also find a list of hotels close to each of the venues in case you want to attend and you are coming from out of town or you just want to rest overnight before jetting back home.

If there’s any event happening this month that we missed,  just let us know in the comment section.

1. Lagos Comic Convention 2017 (COMIC CON17)

Venue: NECA House, Plot 2A, Hakeem Balogun Street, Central Business District, Alausa, Ikeja

Date: September 15 – 16  2017
Time: 9:00 am – 6:00 pm
Ticket price: Free

This one is for all the nerds and comic book lovers out there in Lagos. This is one social event you don’t want to miss.  

The Lagos Comic Convention is more than just comics actually, there will also be animation, film, game and VR exhibits. Prepare to participate in the CosPlay competition with the first prize of N150,000. There will even be a little something for the children at the KidZone which will be a haven for kid-friendly creative workshops, films, and games. The FIST Awards for the best in the comic arts will also be held at the convention. There’s something for whatever secret nerd interest you have.

All play and no work isn’t a great balance, so ComicCon17 is hosting seminars and panel sessions on relevant topics as well.

Entrance is FREE but you can purchase a partnership ticket to enjoy some extra perks. The tickets cost N1000, N3000 and N5000 with different benefits attached.

Hotels Nearby
De Renaissance Hotel
Best Western Hotel, Ikeja
Ostra Hotel
Protea Hotel Select Ikeja

There are several other cheap hotels in Ikeja.

2. The Hangout- For singles of All ages

Venue: Pistis Conference Centre, 1 Elevation/Resurrection Drive , Lekki- Epe Expressway Lagos
Date: September 16, 2017

Time: 10:00 am – 2:00 pm
Tickets: Free

Who says you can’t have fun and keep things clean? The Hangout is going to prove all those people wrong. Get ready to join Fela Durotoye, Godman Akinlabi, Bola Akinlabi, Joy Isa, Yemi Popoola, Meka Olowola and enjoy with music by EBEN.

Prepare to be relaxed and mingle with other single pringles. You would also get the chance to ask your mentors -in the areas of leadership, money, looove and other things- tough and down-to-earth questions.

The event is free but you have to register to save a seat. You can do so here.

Hotels Nearby
Orchid Hotel Lekki
Limeridge Hotel
Sweet Life Home

There are several other cheap hotels in lekki phase 1

3. XTREME LIVE-The Funny Flight

Venue: Muson Centre, Ikoyi
Date: September 17, 2017
Time: From 4:00 pm
Tickets: From N5000

If you like to laugh and you want to laugh on a small budget, you should board this flight. Xtreme Live is a live comedy satire featuring Alibaba, Falz, Kennyblaq, Frank Donga, Owen Gee, Dan D Humorous, Klint-D-Drunk, Skales, Yaw, Orezi, Memory Card, Klintoncod, De Don, Koker, MC Tagwaye (Buhari), Mr. Hyenana and others.

Mark your calendar, you don’t want to miss it.

Hotels Nearby
The George Hotel Ikoyi
Westwood Hotel Ikoyi
Wheatbaker Hotel

There are several other cheap hotels in ikoyi

4. Lagos Fashion 2017

Venue: Plot 1415. Adetokunbo Plot Ademola Street. Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria
Date: September 19, 2017 – September 21, 2017
Time: 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
Tickets: Free

Well, all know that Lagos is the fashion capital of Nigeria so this event is definitely warranted. The Lagos Fashion 2017 is a 2-day event being held to showcase products from clothing, cosmetics jewelry, textile, lifestyle and bridal fashion industries in Nigeria.

The major products that will be displayed at the event will include women’s wear,  men’s wear, kid’s wear, knit wear, sports wear, beach wear, lingerie, evening wear, fashion accessories, bags, shoes, and others.

If you are a clothes hog or you just like to look at pretty things on pretty people, this is the event for you.

Hotels Nearby
Beni Gold Hotel
Victoria Crown Plaza Hotel
Blowfish Hotel
Intercontinental Hotel Lagos

There are several other cheap hotels in Victoria Island in you are looking for a good deal.

5. Made In Nigeria Shoe Expo MINSE 3.0

Venue: Ikeja
Date: September 27 – 29, 2017
Time: from 09:30 AM

It’s time for us to #buynigeriantogrownigeria. It’s never a bad time to support our local businesses because a win for them is a win for our economy. The Made In Nigeria Shoe Expo (MINSE) is an annual footwear and leather fair. The first edition of this year held in Abuja, it is now Lagos’ turn to shine. With over 50 exhibitors and brands,  the shoe expo should be a good place to find any time of footwear. Even for those of us with big feet.

In addition to the exhibitions, Special Master classes would be held and cover topics on ranging from business strategy and tips on leather production. So you won’t just be emptying your pockets, you can enrich your mind as well.

Hotels Nearby
Shoregate Hotel
Apartment Royale Hotel and Suites
City View Hotel

There are several other cheap hotels in Ikeja GRA that are easily accessible to the expo ground

The Loose talk podcast: My biggest takeaway from the interview with MI

 

Image from Pulse

This episode of loose talk podcast is a defining moment in music history, where an artist with the antecedents and status of MI, stepped into the verbal ring with two of the greatest entertainment journalists in Nigerian history. A lot of jabs were thrown, a lot of knock downs and comebacks, there were a lot of calculated punches and spontaneous outbursts of passion. There was also a lot of ego, enough to have a healthy conversation but a bit over the top at times. The episode is a nearly 3 hour podcast that is definitely not going to be fun to watch, or listen to on mobile data but if you love music, especially, African music or African hip-hop in particular, you need to listen to or watch this episode of the loose talk podcast.

The single most important moment for me, in the podcast’s entire three hours was when MI, Osagie, Loose Kanyon and AOT2 went back and forth over an alternative music platform to iTunes for MI to base the numbers of his Chairman Album. Osagie said that over 90% of Nigerians do not have access to iTunes and majority of Nigerian iTunes users are not even in Nigeria. Remember last November when Nigerian banks positioned themselves as enemies of the music industry and all but eliminated the only platforms for Nigerian artistes to make money off album sales. It is sad and in some ways infuriating that, when Nigerian music is once again pushing continental boundaries our artistes are barely making any money off it directly.

MI’s Chairman album is one of the highest selling albums, if not the highest, since it’s release in 2014, it has made about $120,000 (over N43 million) according to MI over three years. There were a lot features on that album, so all the collaborators have to get paid, producers, sound engineers, marketing and PR teams, the record label has to get paid. By the time all the due diligence is done, MI is taking home a lot less than that and remember, this is money made over three years on what is arguably the highest selling album, in that period. Now, imagine how much up and comers take home. A lot have given up and release entire albums for free on Soundcloud hoping to parlay whatever successes into getting an endorsement and high profile gigs.

It takes an unbelievable amount of time, energy and human resources to make an album. Even musicians with near zero talent hire writers, producers and engineers that know the work and all those people have mouths to feed. So it is extremely important that if you can, pay for your music. A number of Nigerian ATM cards work on Deezer, and UAE iTunes store and Apple music, although most Nigerian songs are not on that store. If you have a dollar card you should be able to access Apple music. You can also try barter cards where you can fund a dollar card in your Naira account.

I also think Nigerian artistes, record labels or at least record label backers and entrepreneurs need to talk to themselves and see how they can parlay their influence and resources into either bringing a foreign player like Pandora, Amazon music, Spotify or Google play music to come in, or improve and expand an indigenous platform like MTN music plus, cloud 9, iRoking or Spinlet. The market is ripe, the music is ready and if we play our cards right this will be the dawn of a new age. What we cannot do is sit here and allow this opportunity go to waste.

 

Ajebutter vs Danfo: An Ugotalksalot Lagos City Guide

There comes a time in every Ajebutter’s life when you have to realize that uber is not a sustainable lifestyle and your parents and their drivers will not be there to save you from Lagos. I don’t know about you sha, maybe your own Ajebutter is different, but my reality has been checked. I’m now one of them.  Omo ni ile. Daughter of the soil. No bus stop or Danfo driver can gainsay me.

It’s funny when I think only a few years back.  My uncle used to tell me that I need to learn to get around in Lagos.  I was like Nah, I’m not going to be in this country by the time I graduate. LOL! I can imagine God was just looking at me then. Like, see this one.

So yes, I had to figure it out. By fire and by force. It is only by the grace of God that they didn’t announce me as missing on NTA. I would have been doomed because who watches NTA anyways?

I’m a really nice person you know, and I can’t bear to leave you to suffer the way I did. So let me give you a quick run down about what you need to know about public transportation in Lagos. So here are 5 easy and crucial tips to staying sane in Lagos Danfo buses.

 

1.When is the best time to go out by public transportation in Lagos?

Never! There is never a good time brother or sister Ajebutter.  Just put your butter in your front pocket (if you put it in the back pocket, they will steal it) and enter the bus.

Danfo buses are especially annoying in the dry season. You know why? People stink.  Like literally, there’s no number of face masks that can save you.  And no you can not wear a face mask.  Where do you think you are?

The worst thing that can happen during the dry season is if you happen to sit by the door, where the conductor is hanging from.  The way breeze will blow fresh body odour into your nose.  I’m telling you, you eyes will water.  

Oooh but that might actually not be so bad. I once sat down in between two market women. One was carrying this potent smelling dry fish in her laps, the other was fat and sweating and smelled like a wet rag.  Which way would you turn your nose? Up?

Don’t get me wrong. Danfo in the rainy season is just as bad.  Just less smelly.  God bless you, you enter a bus with a leaky roof or windows that don’t close. You might as well just walk in the rain.

I wish I could deliver some good news here, this is the reality.  If you are entering danfo, there’s no silver lining.

2. Prepare to Usain Bolt

chicken runningSo you think that you will stroll to a bus stop, wave your hand and a chariot will arrive in front of you and stairs will be provided for you to climb on.  Please I actually want you to try it and let me know how long people take to laugh at you.

My friend, you better run like your life depends on it.  If you fall down, get back up and keep running.  

Run with sense sha. Because if you fall, the conductor will not stop to tell you sorry. He might even insult you on top.   One time, I was rushing to enter a bus and I tripped into a deep puddle of water. By the time I eventually got into the bus -after staining my white wash jeans- the conductor told me “Omo mommy,  Owo Mi da” meaning “mom’s girl, where’s my money”. This puddle incident brings me to my next tip.

3. Don’t wear any clothes you care about

Celebrity clothingUnless you are not averse to crying in public, wear only absolute rags.  All maybe well, till you get on the chair and a nail rips your clothes.

If you are thinking of going out, slaying in with your face beat and looking glam, don’t.  Don’t do it. Take an uber or stay at home.  If it’s hot, you will sweat all over yourself.  If it’s raining, the rain will sweat all over you.

Seriously, you have been warned.  I can’t tell you how many clothes I’ve lost to this Danfo hustle. Always remember to look at the seat before sit down.  Don’t touch anything you are unsure of.  I’ve sat on shit before.  Not even exaggerating. Real human faeces.

 

4 Don’t just walk the walk, talk the talk

lagos pedestriansYou can also call this part “Danfo etiquette and the Yoruba language” because yes, there’s a certain composure expected of you in the chaotic danfo situation.

First of all, you must remember that danfo bus conductors simple do not have the time to pronounce the name of your bus stop in full.  Don’t expect to hear Oshodi, Jibowu, Ikeja, Mile 12, Eko Hotel or Bar Beach. There are abbrev-ed pronunciations,  no bus stop with more than 4 consonants is pronounced fully.  So prepare your ears for Oshod’, Jibo’, ‘keja, My 12, Onipa’, Eko’otel and Ba’bish.

You also expected to learn Yoruba.  And learn it well. Because the conductor will not ask you any question in English. I mean, you are in Lagos, so you HAVE to learn the language, or die trying. The closest alternative to Yoruba is pidgin and my dear if they speak pidgin to you, you better speak pidgin back, okay? It’s simple etiquette.

This should go without saying, but let me just say it: there is no room for British accents and all that wanna-gonna stuff inside the yellow and black sardine cans.  The one is for your uber driver.  In fact,  keep your interaction with the driver and conditional to a 3 sentences minimum.  All you need to talk about is where you’re going, how much your change is and where you are coming down.  That’s all.  If you wanna have a chit chat, you are gonna be met with a lot of confused stares.

Because I’m so nice, I’ve prepared a few phrases and words you will need to learn. So here you go;

The Danfo bus lexicon

  • Owo da leyin – Because you are seating at the back, your name is now leyin.  Please give the conductor his money.
  • Owo da waju – You are seating in front, your name is now iwaju. Give the conductor his money to avoid quarrel.
  • E bami sumo – Please move your behind to the left corner so another person can squeeze beside you.
  • O wa – Your bus stop is in sight. Shout this loudly, or enjoy a tour of Lagos.
  • O wole – I’m getting into the bus, please match brake
  • O bole – I want to come down and I can not fly, so please match brake
  • Waso – 50 naira

 

5 May your ears rest in peace

Not a fan of loud noises?  Well, you will be tried and tested in these danfo streets.  God bless you, you enter one of those ones that backfire. Ha! Your eardrums will be a distant memory.  

Even if the bus is in top condition, guess what, your bus driver is a Pasuma fan… Or whatever fuji rubbish they’re listening to these days.  If that doesn’t happen, you’ll definitely get the traveling preacher or sales man, pedaling magic in a bottle for 100 naira.  The cure for cancer has been discovered in Lagos and it’s only 500 naira.  

Maybe, just maybe you don’t experience any of this. You will still get to those bus stops where touts are banging doors and breaking side mirrors all in the name of collecting 20 naira.

Make peace with it, you will loose all sense of hearing.

 

Other Tips to Remember

-Keep your 1000 naira at home: Hell hath no fury like a bus conductor presented with a 1000 naira note. If he doesn’t have any change, prepare for any eventuality.  You might find yourself walking on an expressway. Or the conductor will “marry” you with another 1000 naira wielder, go and consummate the union.

– When you are approaching your bus stop,  let the conductor know.  Say it loudly or it will be like rapture.  May you not be left behind.  

-Those fancy looking bus stops with their names on it,  they are merely suggestions. Most buses don’t stop there. Most of them are deserted.  Unless you are just looking for shade,  the real bus stop is usually another 5 minutes walk away from there.

-Stay woke: Never ever sleep in a danfo bus. If you do, you risk missing your bus stop,  losing your possessions and even some body parts.  

 

Let’s talk about Nigeria for a minute

If you have followed my blog for a while you will know that Nigeria is one of my favorite things to write about, and these days it has been very hard to do that. But I want to overcome the difficulty and talk to you about Nigeria.

What have Nigerian politicians done for some of you that you want to kill all of us because of them? Some of you are ready to kill another person because of Nigerian politicians, people you don’t know and don’t know you? Will it kill you to admit that Jonathan was a terrible president and that Buhari, is equally as terrible?  Will you die if you admit that APC is just as selfish and evil as PDP?

Even if you can’t admit it in public because of your over-inflated ego, surely you can do that in private?  Surely you can lock yourself up in your room and admit that this country is not working. We have been in a recession for so long that recession jokes have all become dry. Surely somewhere in your heart you know that whether you believe in APC or PDP, Nigeria is not working.

These things are fact, these things are crystal clear but instead of us to work together we are bickering over politicians who do nothing for us.

As at the writing of this, there has been 226 days in 2017 and President Buhari has spent at least 152 days in the UK. As far as 2017 is concerned our president is closer to a being a British citizen than he is to being a Nigerian citizen not to talk of Nigerian president. In that time, the economy has remained in the same toilet Buhari left it in, Nnamdi Kanu, first of his name, has gained enough man power to  start an actual army down south, Boko Haram are back like they never left up north and then ASUU unleashes a mass population of idle youths into a very chaotic scene. There is not much room for excitement to be honest and it is very depressing when you think about it.

I am not trying to scare you but I need you to know that, cliche and banter aside, Nigeria is falling apart and very soon something will give. We as Nigerians are standing in a room filled with gas and instead of looking for a way out we are hoping and praying nothing ignites a spark. We will not survive like this much longer, even if we do make it passed Boko Haram, a failing economy and Nnamdi Kanu in one piece, oil is going away and it’s never coming back, our population is exploding and there will be even less opportunities than there are now.

I want you to know that your children and my children will grow up in a Nigeria that is much tougher than it is now unless we stop that from happening and we are running out of time.

If you don’t know what to do to make a big difference, start from the little things. Vote for your conscience, vote for the man or woman with the best plan even if they don’t have a political party with huge cash. Follow the activities of your state governor, your state legislature, the national assembly, ask them questions, do not compromise your integrity and if you have none, get some. Keep your loyalty for your conscience and not any politician or political party. Don’t keep quiet, let your voice be heard, don’t let sincere ignorance stand and don’t suffer fools. Let your presence be felt.

Nigeria may have done nothing for you but she needs you. She needs you more than she knows it. Stay safe, stay smart, stay woke.

 

Don’t forget to comment, subscribe to my blog and the YouTube Channel

 

New To Lagos? Here Are The Top 10 Hotels in Ikeja that Count

Value for Money: Top 10 Hotel’s in Ikeja that Count

Sheraton ikeja

Ikeja is the capital of Lagos State and a haven for fun spots in the state. Whether you are a business or leisure visitor, in Ikeja, there is no dull moment. From branches of multinational companies to entertainment centres like Fela’s Afrika Shrine and Ikeja City Mall, you are to find things that will captivate your imagination. As a first time visitor or regular traveller, you do not have to worry about finding a suitable accommodation. Ikeja is home to some of Lagos’ finest hotels and we have made a list of such hotels that offer you the best value for your money.

1. Sheraton Lagos Hotel

30 Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way, 21189 Airport Road

There are only a few 5-star hotels in the country and Sheraton Hotel is one of them. A favourite accommodation choice for the elite, expect only world class treatment at this hotel.

The rooms at Sheraton Lagos Hotel are very spacious and modern. Each room features excellent bedding and large TV panels that make you feel like you are at your very own private theatre, making movie watching a delight. Each room has a dedicated electric kettle, coffee machine, and hair dryers. You can make requests for extra towels if you are so inclined.

Enjoy exquisite meals and assorted drinks at any of the hotel’s 4 restaurants and bars including the Goodies Pub, La Giara, Terrace Bar, and the Crock Pot. Each of the restaurants specialises in a type of cuisine from Nigerian to Italian delicacies. There are no worries about running out of cash as there is an ATM on the hotel ground.

You can also book the club room that offers you complimentary access to the Sheraton Club Lounge, a special TV viewing area, newspapers, and periodicals, and drink vouchers. Workshops and international conferences can also be hosted at the hotel. Sheraton is situated close to Murtala Muhammed International Airport making it easily accessible to travellers and quite convenient for those making a quick transit through Lagos.

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2. Blue Spring Hotel

34B Remi Fani Kayode Avenue, GRA Ikeja

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Many guests testify the peaceful ambience of the Blue Spring Hotel is its major selling point. Though it is located in a busy part of town, once you arrive at the hotel premises, the hum of the city quietens. But that is not all, it is just the beginning of a wonderful stay at the hotel.

The hotel boasts large rooms, neat beddings, spotless bathrooms, clean furniture, and a fast internet connection, just ask anyone who has ever stayed there. Here is what one customer had to say about the internet services;

I really enjoyed my stay at the hotel, the internet was very strong and it made very easy to surf the web with one click pages opened on my electronic devices.

Previous guests of this hotel also attest to its 24 hours supply of power. Travellers would appreciate its nearness to the Murtala Muhammed International Airport and the ease of locating the hotel. The staff is also known for their prompt attention to enquiries. Complimentary services include adequate parking arrangements and top notch security. Book a room at Blue Spring Hotel and obtain good value for your money in quality service and good location.

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3. De Renaissance Hotel

172, Obafemi Awolowo Way, Alausa, Ikeja

Whether it is your first time or your nth time at the De Renaissance Hotel, the treatment is the same. It will meet all expectations you come with, regardless of if your room was pre-booked or gotten last minute. Here, the rooms are very neat and easy on the eyes, with simple yet beautiful interior decorations.

The hotel is particularly close to the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, and other locations like Kalakuta Republic Museum, 5 minutes walking distance to the Ikeja Shopping Mall, and a few minutes to other locations like Calabar Kitchen and Domino’s Piza. More reserved guests will also find this hotel particularly impressive for exclusive services like cushioned outdoor sit-out and in-house dining services. De Renaissance Hotel serves its guests with complimentary snacks and fruits. The hotel’s parking spaces are ample and can accommodate many cars at a time. Guests do not have to worry about the safety of their cars.

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4. Hotel Ibis Hotel Ikeja

23 Toyin Street, Ikeja, Lagos

Have all your lodging needs met on your first stay at Hotel Ibis and be sure to return for another wonderful experience. All the rooms come with fully functioning air conditioners, as well as a constant supply of electricity. Many customers particularly enjoyed staying at Hotel Ibis for its location in GRA, the highbrow area of Ikeja and its proximity to many places of interest.

Checking in at the hotel is seamlessly done as you will find that the hotel staff are friendly, hospitable, and polite. On getting to your room, you will find a coffee machine for your personal use. The ensuite bathrooms have showers and hairdryers. You do not have to worry about cash as there is an ATM on the hotel premises.

Are you a nursing mother or someone in need of special care? This hotel is just for you as there are babysitting services in place, as well as facilities for people with disabilities. You can also relax at the crystal blue-coloured swimming pool. The hotel restaurant serves exquisite buffet breakfast with wide choice of cuisine.

Fun places close to the hotel include Kalakuta Museum, Ikeja City Mall and Dominos Pizza, a visit to any of these is always a nice way to end your beautiful stay at the hotel. A shuttle to and from the airport is also available on request.

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5. Westown Hotel

7, Sheraton-Opebi Link Road, Ikeja

Surrounded by leisure and recreational spots, and a 10-minute drive from the Lagos airport, Westown Hotel is a delightful 4-star accommodation. Whether you are a local or an international guest, you will find that Westown Hotel has something for every taste.

Check-in is swift and effortless for both pre-booked and emergency guests. The hotel offers you great service, warm ambience, and beautiful rooms. Some of the rooms, like the Diplomatic Suite, consisting of a large private lounge, a secretary’s office, and a mini bar.

As a guest at the Westown Hotel, you get to enjoy free breakfasts, as well as a 24-hour restaurant that serves African and continental dishes. The hotel’s rooftop restaurant is especially known for its delicious Thai/Chinese cuisine. Take soothing dips at the rooftop swimming pool and relax at the rooftop bar with glasses of any of the available variety of beverages.

Have a swell time by visiting interesting places near Westown Hotel including the Muson Centre, National Museum, Ikeja Golf Course, and Ikeja City Mall.

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6. Shoregate Hotel

29 Joel Ogunnaike, GRA, Ikeja

Shoregate Hotel is one of the best-rated hotels in Ikeja; most of the customers are known to get full value for their money whenever they come. The staff at Shoregate hotel are also very welcoming and willing to go the extra mile in helping guests on arrival. The rooms are fitted with all the necessities to give you comfort including work tables and chairs. A previous guest likened the bedding “…to that of Premier Inn, London”. The bathrooms are pleasant and private toilets never run of toiletries. The hotel also offers an impressive breakfast buffet, with lots of variety to choose from.

Relax and let your skin come in contact with the natural breeze from the large rooftop space specially reserved for relaxation and to allow guests have an amazing view of the city. You can also request for exclusive services at the 24-hour service desk including car hire services to take you around the city. Places you can visit include the Ikeja Golf Club and Sparkle Hall.

7. Best Western Starfire Hotel

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Best Western Starfire Hotel welcomes you with its lush greenery and buoyant horticulture, as well as a warm and hospitable reception from its staff. On the rare occasion that you have a complaint about a particular room, a staff is always available to check you into a better fitting room. Previous customers love the cozy, spacious, and clean rooms, as well as the overall security of the premises. The quiet ambience of the environment allows guests the chance for maximum relaxation and a getaway from all the stress.

The hotel is well situated in the highbrow area of Ikeja and only a few minutes from the Lagos international airport. There are a variety of sights you can visit during your stay at Best Western Starfire Hotel including Ikeja Shopping Mall, National Theatre Lagos, and National Museum.

8. Apartment Royale Hotel

4 Wole Ogunjimi Street Off Agbaoku Street

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The rooms are beautifully decorated and fitted with all the necessary appliances and furniture. The wireless internet is quite fast and surfing the web on your mobile devices gets better. The parking space is ample and enough to house a lot of cars at a time. Previous guests at the hotel love the delicious and yet affordable meals served at the hotel restaurant. One guest sums up his stay at the hotel thus;

“My stay at the Apartment Royale Hotel And Suites was really awesome. I tour around hotels a lot and trust me Apartment Royale Hotel And Suite has the best customer service, they welcomed me warmly and so intelligently. They have nice rooms, nice meals, awesome water and power supply. I’m looking forward to going back there soon.”

Getting around the Ikeja metropolis from the hotel is easy. There are cabs outside the hotel to take you to anywhere you want to go. Popular spots for relaxation and entertainment include The Place, Coldstone Creamery, KFC, and Ikeja Shopping Mall.

9. Swiss Cottage Suites

18 Sunday Adigun Street, Alausa

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Swiss Cottage Suites is strategically located in the centre of the city. It is just a 2-minute drive to the State Government Secretariat and a 2-minutes walk to the Ikeja City Mall, a delight for heavy shoppers. The overall service to guests is impeccable. The rooms feel like an extension of home – spacious and beautiful, each featuring fully functioning air conditioners. Some contain VIP room facilities. Guests have full control of which channels to watch on the Cable TV from a variety of choices.

Places of interest you can visit near Swiss Cottage Suites include Lagos State Digital Village, New Afrikan Shrine, National Art Theatre, and Iga Idungaran-OBA of Lagos Palace.

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10. Glonik Hotels

118/120 Adeniyi Jones Avenue, Ikeja

a hotel room - hotels.ngThis is a luxurious hotel and one of the best-rated hotels in Ikeja. It offers you maximum value for your money. It is also the ideal destination for tourists. This is because Glonik Hotels offers tour packages that include guiding you and other tourists to several places of interest in the city, and occasionally outside Lagos. They allow you make choices by offering you an itinerary of interesting natural attractions.

The hotel also arranges free airport shuffle for international travellers. And even if you are not coming in from outside the country, the hotel is situated in an easy-to-find location. Check-in is also seamless. Entertain yourself with fun visits to the Kalakuta Museum and Ikeja City Mall.

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Lagos Island for Dummies: An UgoTalksAlot Guide to Life Lagos Island Ocean

The Island. The créme de la créme of Lagos. The title in all fairness should go to Banana Island in particular, but let’s be honest and objective with the goals we set in this life.

A lot of people live and swim work on the Island because a lot of businesses are situated there. Some people live there to be close to work or other necessities, others live there because JJC carried them there but like everywhere else, the Island has its pros and cons, so here’s what you need to know to make your life a little bit easier.

1. Bring Your GeePee Tank

Remember how I wrote  in a previous post, that there is is no water in Lagos and you need to bring your borehole? Well, this doesn’t apply to most places on the Island. There is plenty of water in Lekki and what you need is a Geepee tank to store all that water. The only issue is, the water doesn’t come from the tap, it comes from the sky and the ground. You may want to consider buying bowls and buckets for packing water from the floor. Also, it may be a wise financial investment to buy shares in the company that makes Dettol because it will be your best friend.

2. Buy a Boat

Does this man have two heads?

A boat is an investment really. If you can afford one, you should probably get it. With your boat, you can enter the ocean and row over to the mainland while your mates are growing old on third mainland bridge.

When everyone is destroying their cars, you can just roll out your boat and enjoy your life. Who needs to go on a cruise ship, when you can row your way across Lekki-Epe Expressway?

Jokes aside, let us take a moment to pray for our friends & family in Lekki and VGC. As the bible says, we should also enemies in state house that have refused to fix drainages. 

3. Bring your gutter.

So as you can see, gutters do not exist in on the Island. Especially in Lekki. They are a myth. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to go there, bring your own from the mainland. On second thought, mainland drainages get as dem be too sha. Maybe you can rent some from Ibadan or Osogbo to buy gutter and bring, theirs is not amazing but it’s much better. 

To be fair, even when the government attempts to create gutters, Nigerians in typical Nigerian fashion will turn it into a dustbin. 

4. Invest in insecticides.

Island mosquitoes are mosquitoes that have gone abroad to gym and they have come back. Yes, IJGB mosquitoes are an actual thing.  These mosquitoes have body, they are woke and they can suck all your blood at once. You won’t even see them coming, you will just start feeling your blood disappear from your body.

Because I like you, I will tell you what to do. Just buy one big Raid, one big Baygon and a medium-sized Mortein. When you have bought them all,  just use them all at once. Make sure you finish everything, then mosquitoes will die. Or at least I hope they will.

5. Your Bank Account Should Have Sense Small.

You want to live on the Island and you don’t have money? You think they share houses for free in VGC? Everything here has rent price on top. Even your house rent has another house rent added on top of it. Even if you buy a house or build your own property, the Island will still collect rent from you.

Think of it this way, rent is so comparatively expensive that everyone has to chip in to help. So if you walk into Ebeano Supermarket to buy something; there is the standard price, then there is VAT, then there is Lekki VAT, then there is rent. So at the end of the day, something that costs N1,000 elsewhere will go for N1,500 or N1,700.

There is also the small issue of the toll gate. That small money you will pay every day. At the end of the month, you would have paid someone’s minimum wage salary. With that one alone, you suppose know say Lagos Island no be for small pikin. Well except the pikin is an OBO (Omo Baba Olowo), rich man pikin.

 

If you know this lifestyle is not for your pocket right now, don’t worry we have you covered. You can check out our guide to Lagos and subscribe to get notifications about our upcoming city guides. You know, I care about you and I’m just trying to help your life.

Don’t forget to comment and share. You don’t know who’s life you are saving.