Category Archives: Family

15 Places Where You Can Find Rich Husbands in Lagos

Wouldn’t you love to have a BellaNaija wedding? To have that Valentino dress, make everyone jealous and all the ladies want to be you? Wouldn’t it be nice to have all your money troubles disappear? You can do things at your own pace from a point of comfort. Or maybe you’re just tired of sharing the bills and having to understand his financial situation.  Baby, you know things are tough right now. 

Girl, you deserve the best in life! Sometimes, you might not just be so lucky to have it happen to you by accident. So go seek it out. Go and find the love of your life that will pamper you will luxury. He might not be hanging out in your usual circle. So…you have to find him in his.

There are a few places in Lagos that are known to be where your future bae hangs out. Most of these places are in Lagos Island, so you might actually want to consider moving there -if you don’t already. Keep reading for a cheat sheet on landing a life of wealth.

 

1. Protea Hotel

protea-hotel-ikeja-lagos-.jpgThis is one of the few establishments in Ikeja that the rich young men are known to congregate. You can also cup yourself an oyibo bae if you play your cards right.

 

2. Four Points

Four-Points-by-Sheraton-Lagos-Hotel.jpgFour Points by Sheraton is the younger cooler version of the vintage Sheraton Hotel. The clientele is notably younger too but the fatness of their wallets is not to be underestimated.

 

3. Eko Hotel

Eko Hotel ans SuitesYou are seeing the trend right? Rich men like to hang out in hotels in Lagos. But not just any hotels, the high-rise ones with expensive rooms. Just stroll in, talk to the receptionists, hang around the lobby and flirt. You never know you might get lucky.

Legend has it that men in Eko Hotel are also considerably generous.

4. Sheraton Hotel

sheratonlagosext.jpgSheraton!. You can’t go wrong with this old faithful. Just buy yourself the most expensive bottle of coke you will find in Lagos, sit down and look pretty.

 

5. Palms Shopping Mall ( specific places like Cafe Vergano)

Palms Shopping Mall Lekki-hotels.ng.jpgYou are probably thinking, “Is it not the same shoprite I go to every day?” No, it isn’t. There’s Palms Shopping Mall and there’s Palms Shopping Mall. You need to open your third eye. There are several lounges in the mall you’ve probably never thought of entering. You should. Your future husband is there.

 

6. Atican Beach Resort

atican beach resort aerial view-hotels.ng.jpgCompared to Elegushi Beach and Oniru Beach, Atican Beach is probably not considered popular. But… it’s one of the Island’s best-kept secrets. It’s private so you can easily walk into a rich young man looking for some relaxation or maybe a group of rich friends just hanging out.

7. Lekki-Ikoyi Bridge at 6 am

Joggers on the Lekki Ikoyi link bridge.jpgWomen are masters at multitasking. It is a known fact. So why not make it worth your while. You can stay fit and meet the love of your life all at once. Here’s how to do it. Wake up in the early am, dress in really nice up-to-date sportswear. No hair net, no hair rollers. Pack that thing is a cute ponytail. Look your best but make sure it’s effortless. You want to give the impression that you woke up like this. Now jog across Lekki-Ikoyi bridge, but not too hard, you have to look like you are floating with every step.

When a car headlight approaches, look unbothered. But also observe the caliber of the vehicle coming your way. It’s the very first impression that counts in this case. You may not meet your Mr. Right the first time, but if you are consistent, you’ll get noticed.

8. Intercontinental Hotel

intercontinental-hotel-lagos.jpegAnother hotel lobby lined with gold, get to digging.

 

9. Lagos Oriental Hotel

lagos-oriental-hotel-lagos-.jpgOlamide shot his “Lagos Boys” video here. So that should tell you something.

 

10. Murtala Mohammed Airport

murtala-muhammed-international-airport-lagos-nigeria-mmia.jpgDon’t all Hollywood romances have an airport scene? Why should our dear MMA be any different? Just be careful not to encounter an overdressed “Importer Exporter” claiming to be an O.B.O.

 

11. Wedding Receptions in Lagos Island

wedding-events-hotels.ng.jpgGo to the wedding looking like a “Slay Mama”, make sure you walk around a lot so he can get several views of you. There’s always that one guy at the wedding that catches your eye and if the wedding is on the Island, then your chances of catching a sugar bae increase exponentially.

 

12. La Mango Restaurant

la-mango-lagos-hotels.ngLa Mango is arguably the most talked restaurant and bar on the mainland. So of course, rich men like to go there. They also particularly love its outdoor seating, it’s breathtaking poolside and the rooftop terrace. Do you know what this means for you? You can wear your swimsuit and show off your best assets.

 

13. Ikeja City Mall (specific places like Rhapsody’s and Spurs)

Rhapsody's Ikeja City Mall.jpgLike I said about The Palms, these malls are not to be underestimated. Look beyond what you see.

 

14. Zenbah

zenbah-hotels.ngThis is one of the most expensive cocktail places in Lagos. You know what that means. No further explanation needed.

 

15. New Age Churches

House on the Rock.jpgElevation Church, House on the Rock, COZA, Guiding Light Assembly and all the “New Age Churches” are the in thing now. What’s better than a rich man who enjoys the presence of God?

There you have it. You’ve got all the tools. Now go forth and prosper. Don’t be selfish, share this with others. You will need a wingman when you go to these places anyways. Please invite me to your wedding, this advice is not for free, I want to eat party rice.

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I’m Scared of Of The Future

I’m scared of growing up, of taking more responsibilities and taking more difficult decisions. I wasn’t always this scared, in fact I wanted to grow up, to be seen and treated as an adult and not a teenager. Looking back now, I wonder what I was thinking. 

I’m scared of getting married, of marrying the wrong person and living in hell sweet hell. I don’t want my marriage to be the intercessory prayer of my family friends and pastor. Even worse I’m scared I’ll be that incompatible, stupid and unfaithful spouse. I’m a man after all, as the women say it’s in our nature to cheat. I’m afraid I’ll wake up one day and realise I’ve become a real ‘man’. 

I’m terrified of having kids, of telling them to grow up on the words I said and not the things I did. I’m terrified that they will copy my weaknesses and my strengths won’t reflect in their lives. I don’t want to raise my voice too loudly or keep it mute. I don’t want to lie to my kids, or have to explain how “it’s complicated” because I don’t want them to see their mother and I tear the only world they know bit by bit.

Most of all, I’m horrified by the prospect of being left behind. I don’t want to be that classmate that everyone thinks of when they say “my mates can’t stand with me today.” I don’t want to be the shooting star that was shot down, the promising young man that was never fulfilled or the potential that never overcame inertia. I’m scared that one day I won’t be able to pick up the phone and call a friend without asking myself “see my life how did I get here?”

I don’t want to mess up the only life I’ve got, I’m scared that I just might but I can’t just give up? I most certainly can’t. But it doesn’t mean, I’m not scared. 

#BRINGBACKOURGIRLS…please?

I never expected it. Two years after, it’s still some kind of national dream that we all can’t seem to wake up from. Two bloody years!

I don’t even know what I want to say in this post that hasn’t been said, but I felt the need; the pull; the urgency; to let this digital ink flow to the screens to your phones, tablets and laptops.

I am disappointed and sad that it was in my life time that I witnessed one of the most embarrassing national flukes in Nigerian history.

 I can still vividly recall it like it was yesterday. Laying on my bed scrolling through my Twitter timeline and staring in horror at what I was reading, “Over 200 school girls kidnapped.”

I know better than to believe everything I see on Twitter and so I wait for the Federal government of Nigeria to address the issue. I wait for days and weeks and utter radio silence from the hallowed corridors of Aso Rock. The military reports wing my mind back and forth in unparalleled realms of confusion. Channels television is consistent in its reporting, “The Missing Chibok Girls”, Oby Ezekwesili is livid on social media, my Church Pulpit is dead silent and the rumour mill is working overtime.

Then CNN’s Isha Sesay lands in Abuja and heads begin to roll. She begins to ask the questions our local media is either too afraid to ask, to air or have failed to get any answers to. I remember one episode with Doyin Okupe when the only thing left for him to do was to throw her off the balcony that served as their make shift studio in Nigeria. I can still recall yelling my mums name, telling her to leave the kitchen and come see the drama when they practically both start yelling at each other.

They said the #BRINGBACKOURGIRLS movement died down, the reality is it should never have lasted this long
. It shouldn’t have taken us two years, no parent, no one should have to wait that long to have their loved ones to be returned to them.

This isn’t normal! At all! 

It’s been two years. New government, new progress in the fight against Boko haram, new fuel scarcities and economic woes, but the same news surrounding Chibok, the news that rings loud like a standing applause except that it’s silent. Nothing has changed, two years on our girls are still not home.
God help them…God help us all

Dear Future Daughter, The World is No Longer Safe For You

Dear future daughter, the world is no longer a safe place for you. It has changed dramatically. I may be wrong, maybe it never changed and I have just realised that it never really was safe. I’m writing this to you and not your brother because although he too is will be in danger and life will attempt to drown him with the social responsibilities that “male factor” brings, you are more vulnerable because there are those that will seek to take advantage of your femininity.

Predators are everywhere. There are those that want your body and nothing more, whether you’re a young innocent baby or a full grown woman. They want to display you on their trophy chest, another set of opened legs, conquered meat. They don’t want to share your joy, your pain, your passion just for you to bankroll their personal gratification. Beware of them.

There are predators who will not be too subtle, they won’t try to manipulate you to get the cookie from your empire. They will try to take it by force. They are vile, disgusting and have no morals. They are sons, brothers, fathers, best friends, teachers, pastors, mentors and even doctors. Be very careful my future daughter because they are everywhere. Learn self defence if you need to, never go out alone with people you’re skeptical about, find God and trust him to keep them away from you, and always keep open arms for those that became victims to the sickos.

The cabal of society will try and blame you if and anyone who falls victim. Men, women and children alike.. They will say you shouldn’t have shown skin, you shouldn’t have spoken with an accent, you shouldn’t have spent your hard earned money. Know that you are never at fault, it maybe natural to fell some level of shame but fight and don’t agree to lose this game of life. Be strong and stand tall.

Never close your hearts to people in need but never give them your trust before they are tested in their deed. Don’t shut your heart to love if you get played, there are men out there who will love and be prepared to die for you, no strings attached. Just be patient, they’ll come. Be a strong girl, an independent woman, and a contributor to all human kind.

I’d be here, becoming a better father for you.

Your future Dad

UgoTalksAlot

The Bus is Coming 

“In our little village
When elders are not around
Boys must not play with girls
And girls must not play with boys…”

…or they will be chased down, hunted even. They will be accosted, sanctioned and reprimanded. Because when the sun goes down and the elders disappear, boys and girls are not to be trusted.

But as the boys grew to men and the girls to women, as the elders aged and lost their vigour, even transitioned to be with the ancestors, men and women were still not to be trusted. The separation as boys and girls had made them estranged, without the ability to control themselves, they were thought to have become beasts without any sexual restraint. And the assumption was not entirely wrong.

So the elders invented The Bus. The Bus is not some futuristic acronym for a cool gadget used to detect love before it happens. I wish it were. But the elders invented the actual bus, yes the danfo.

When the sun went down, The bus drove round inspecting the huts and pathways to the forests. Looking for those who had disobeyed the scared command of the elders.

Men must not play with women, and women must not play with men.

Those who break this sacred law

must beware and watch to each his flaw

Lest you fall victims of the bus as it moves around

Smooth roads and potholes bumping up and down

For if you sight the buses light

Leave your lover and please take flight

Because no one tells of the stories past

No snitch, not even one to cast

So save yourself and please do start running

Once you hear the bus is coming!

The Opportunity Cost For Happiness

Written By Seunla O.

Recently a thought has been popping through my mind and that is you cant have it all, or at least you cant have it all on a plain ground. You cant have the perfect girlfriend, spend time with her all the time, play games and have fun with friends always and be a first class student. You cant be that workaholic who works day and night and wont pay attention to actually living life until he has fulfilled that wish list like those goals to have a perfect good happy family.
We all saw what happened to Benny Hinn. I heard also of the story of one of the featured Men of God in the book Gods Generals how on his death bed he would trade every miracle that happened through him for a happy family. I know a couple of pastors who are on fire on the outside but their families are on fire!!
Then what is the end game ultimately? Is it all about financial independence? Look at it some people will hustle for first class but ultimately it would be the dullard of the class who gets the awesome job first, so what is the end game? Is it worth the stress? Or is it that feeling of achievement that we are striving for?
For me the end game is not how much money you have or how much of your wish list you fulfill, but being happy. Being your best and contented in every area of your life and not just stopping at yourself but planting these seeds into those around you.
Im just saying 

WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU

Life isn’t fair. It’s not a sentiment of someone that has been given the raw end of the stick, or the empathy of one that is silver spooned, it is a fact.

Sometimes we are the beneficiaries if the kindness of life. Everything seems to be going our way, from one good news to another, we had enough vapor to build a mansion on cloud nine. Other times it seems like we pissed off the Almighty man upstairs and nothing, absolutely nothing seems to go our way but more often than none, we find ourselves in between the two polar ends, getting just enough luck from life to keep our sanity and enough beat down to remind us that cloud nine is an expensive district to live on.

But every now and then we see someone, a friend, family member, a stranger that reminds us that no matter how close life beats us to the ground someone is always closer and before we can take comfort in the fact that someone is worse off, we get the memo from somewhere deep down in our subconscious that “This could have been me

So we are reminded that we are not necessarily better, stronger or faster we just are grateful to God that it wasn’t us. But let’s not stop there, let’s pray for those who got the raw deal.

In The Future Parents Will Be…ABSENT

image

(The Picture isn’t mine)

A young girl, definitely not older than 12 years, walks up to the car window and starts pleading, “Please help me”, “Big brother please help me”. She goes on and on and on for like what seems forever.

Fortunately for her, I did have some money to give her, unfortunately for her I wasn’t going to give her. I looked at her with one of the coldest faces in my facial arsenal but that didn’t work.

After about five minutes it was she called reinforcements, the car was surrounded by 3 more children all begging for something, some in English and others in Hausa. As I look around the car I find the person I’ve been thinking about, the reason I won’t give these children any money, I find their mother or at least the mother of some of them.
She’s standing at the corner of the street, just behind the traffic light and ordering one child to go to a car and beg. My attention is also drawn to a man walking across the streets and telling another child not to follow him, the child looked to have been following him for some time now and the man seemed to be losing patience.
This was really becoming ridiculous, there were about 10 kids on this small but busy street, begging every car to death, while this one woman seemed to be pulling the strings of some of them.

I ask myself where their parents are. Maybe their parents are like this woman, hiding somewhere and giving orders, waiting for their children to come back bringing in the sheaves.

Irresponsible parenting is killing the world. I keep saying that the way things are going, my grandchildren will live in a world where it becomes uncommon for a child to live in a family where your two parents are still married and after your best interests.

Society has normalized baby mamas, celebrated it even. It’s a way for a parent to eat their cake and have it. Just keep pumping money into the baby mama and leave the child to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to do the actual parenting. Then when they hit puberty and all the teenage hormones hit the fan we wonder where we got it wrong.

I’m not against single parenting, after all my mother is a single parent but the fact is that true single parents, those who life unfairly tossed into that zone, know that single parenting isn’t the best way to go, even worse is when the other parent is alive and useless.

I’m against a group of irresponsible members of the Human race being allowed to have kids in the first place. Some animals are doing a better job than humans as far as parenting is concerned.

There was a time in school, I used to see two kids around the college buildings, it’s the same two kids I see every time. Sometimes they split up to cover more ground. They are begging for money around 9pm.

At first I used to give them money, but one day I called them and asked them where their parents where and imagine my surprise when they said “at home”. I gave them some money and walked off in anger. I suspect their parents were staff of the school, but of course I have no proof.  

To round of my Monday Morning bants. I’m pleading with anyone reading this today, whether actual parents or potential parents.
Let’s all be better parents. 

MY GAY EXPERIENCES & OTHER STORIES (Part 3)

We are in church, worshiping the lord but unknown to me a man had been worshiping the lord and gazing at me. After the service ends, I am standing outside waiting for my mum who was performing some ministrations of greetings, when a man works up to me and grabs my hand.

He is looking at me in the eye as if he has something very personal to say. His grip is really tight and I would rather have my hand free. He asks me for my name and at first I am hesitant, because this is all just really awkward. I tell him my name hoping it would get him to leave my hand or at least say what he wants to say a little faster.

Suddenly he has this smile on his face that looks like the Cheshire cat in Alice in the wonderland. It’s also very uncomfortable when a man you don’t know walks up to you, holds your hand and starts smiling.

He spends the next few minutes telling me how handsome I am, how he likes my carriage and on and on. As if God saw the agony in my heart, my mum finishes her greeting ministry and comes to interrupt this “special moment”. She too is puzzled and although she doesn’t show it, she would ask me when we get to the car. Her response to the story was a deep “hmmmm”.

Anyway the man has never disturbed me with that smile again although we’ve met in church countless times, maybe I was a little paranoid that they at church and misread the whole thing or maybe he had a change of heart, only God knows what really happened but I would like to think I was a little bit paranoid. 

IN THE FUTURE THERE WILL BE ONLY BUTTS

  

Recently, my cousin was telling me the story of how she was sent to go and withdraw some money from the ATM and a man followed her. At first she ignored the man, thinking there was nothing to it besides how would he know she was heading to the ATM? Or could he she thought? 


Quickly she realised the man wasn’t following her because of the money, he was following her because of her she was a woman. The man called out to her and tried to touch her, probably to give her some freshly thought up pick-up lines. Unknown to my cousin and her now public admirer, her Dad had been following them for some time. When it was gradually becoming clear what his intentions were, my uncle literally appeared from nowhere and smacked the guy. He roughed up the guy and started shouting “THIEF!!” I think her Dad went as far as taking him to the police station. Accusing him of trying to steal was really the only thing her Dad could accuse him off. In Nigeria, sexual harassment is still an oyibo problem.


Fast forward to a few days after that, my sister and I were walking to church, I decided to walk behind her because the streets were really narrow and okada people tend not to care too much for human life. 


In the 7 minutes it took us to walk from the house to the church I lost count of the amount of men that rotated their necks almost a full 90 degrees to get a better vantage point of my sister’s gluteus maximus. On a number of such occasions when their necks returned from the rotation, their eyes met mine and would turn away sheepishly. It wasn’t so much that I was her brother that embarrassed them, it was that they got caught admiring Gods creation by someone outside their male circles of trust, not to mention more than half of them were old enough to give birth to her.


At 15 guys started sending notes to my sister saying “God said you will be my wife, can I get your phone number.” On one occasion, one of them went as far as following her to the car when she wouldn’t give her number only to meet my infuriated mother, unfortunately for him, he was begging my mother for transport money only a few weeks prior. Lets just say it didn’t end well. 


I think it’s about time we started having some more discussions and sermons on self control among men. This is how it starts and the next thing we are discussing is that the man forced himself on the woman all because she has big butt cheeks. 

This lack of self-control is part of why we have baby mamas looking for media attention because they cant afford to take care of their child after the baby daddy did a Houdini trick. At the rate we are going it would soon be abnormal to be born into a family where your Mummy and Daddy are actually married.

 

I am no saint either but at least I know and I am ready to admit that something is wrong.

Images are not mine