Is It Too Late To Say Happy New Year?

*removes cobwebs

*dusts microphone

Testing 1, 2, 3

*drops microphone when kick back comes in

*runs away

*tiptoes back and picks up mic

Hi everyone. Is anyone still out there? Hello, can you hear me? Okay, you can’t? That’s cool.

Anyway, let me start of by saying, on behalf of myself and the Supreme leader of the people of no kingdom we are really, really, really sorry for disappearing from your screens. Unlike the federal government of Nigeria we make no excuses for our mistakes but like the federal government of Nigeria we hope you will still give us your vote, money and eyeballses.

This really wasn’t how I planned to start this year. There were so many dope plans but January just came like an angry mad man and chased me away. It hasn’t even been a funny year. As a matter of fact I have half a mind to just fast forward and jump to December so I can try again in 2019.

Anyway not a lot has changed since I last posted here. The federal government of Nigeria is still crazy, I’m still not yet rich and more worrying, I still haven’t gone to find my long lost family in the obodoyibo.

What has changed is that I am studying the practical, theoretical and philosophical differences between the being unemployed and being in between jobs. I’m also thinking of what I want to do for masters and where I want to do it. Personally I don’t have energy for school but I’m Nigerian and that MSc is important for my children to have a chance at a good life.

So if you have any ideas of what I should study, press 1 and go to the comments section. If you have any ideas on where I should study press 2 and also go to the comment section (preferably somewhere that will not require burnt sacrificial offering in this day of N1 = £500). If you want to hire me in a freelance or sugar babyesque capacity you can send me an email at ugotalksalot@gmail.com.

With that being said, I have some annoying rants I will be making soon. To avoid missing those, subscribe to the blog so you can receive the fresh anointing tax free and straight to your inbox.

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2 Replies to “Is It Too Late To Say Happy New Year?”

  1. Journalism. Abroad, focus on foreign politics and write away till someone tries to kill you for what you’re working on. Then return to Nigeria with the money you’ve made and start business.

    Like

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