Mr President…Feel Better-ish 

Dear Mr President, 

Please if I have offended you I would like to apologise. It’s not good for us to be keeping malice like this. It’s not good for your health nor is it good for mine although it looks good for my bank account but that’s another story. 
It’s just that I’m worried, I have tried calling but Becky with the Hausa accent keeps answering. 
Then I thought maybe you were busy, that was till I heard you called some people and didn’t call me. Your special assistant on talkativeness and ramblings even said you called me a mischief maker. A whole me? A man of my status quo, a mischief maker? It’s not entirely wrong anyways. 

Uncle Bubu you have my number, call me…please…thank you, let’s know what kind of preparations to make, hopefully good ones. 

That being said, my bank account has informed me, to inform you that it would rather you continue as our away president. It appears the economy responds better in your absence. You have to understand it’s nothing personal, just economic laws of demand and supply, I have demanded for someone else and the lord has supplied. 

I just don’t want there to be animosity between us, nothing more. Have a pleasant recovery.
Signed 

The Federal Republic of Jollof

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