My by-force husband

 This is the second part of a three-part series “The Ghost of Stalkers past”. So for those who for some reason didn’t start at the beginning of the series, here’s the link




This story I’m about to tell happened almost in the same time period as the Stalkmmanuel fiasco. It’s like that year I was emitting some sound at a frequency only audible to the ear of yeye males of the human species.

So what had happened was…


The church we used to attend at that time was a 2 minute walking distance from my house. I honestly miss that convenience every sunday since we moved from there.

So in my church at that time, when you turn 14 you graduate from the children’s church to youth church. So yes, I was a fresh graduate. I now used to go to seat in the youth section of “big church”. It was a great time to be alive.

As a new member of the youth, I started interacting with people almost twice my age. The youth church was from  age 14 till whenever you feel like joining the “Young men or young women” church. So yeah, as JJC, I did my part, look at everyone well so you know whether to greet someone “hi” or “good afternoon”.

So there was this particular “Good afternoon” level fellow.


Tell your neighbour “Good Afternoon”


When I was walking to church on Sunday mornings, I’d run into him also heading in the same direction. I’d greet him, we’d make some small talk, enter church and go our separate ways. After a while, he started doing some weird things that made me lock up. A little body contact here, a little invasive questioning there. At one point he started reprimanding me for always wearing trouser and not covering my hair. Mind you, this is not part of my church doctrine.

Sometimes after church he’d seek me out and try to strike up conversation or “Let me walk you to your gate”, all of which I politely declined.

This went on for a while, and honestly I thought nothing of it. My parents are one of those people in the church that everyone knows and by extension people in church know me. He wasn’t doing anything particularly off… well except the trouser thing. That was weird.


Now tell your neighbour  “On this bless-ed day”


On this blessed day, there was a Women’s meeting in church, my mother came home later than the rest of us. Next thing I know, she’s asking me all these questions. That do I know one Brother something. (I actually never knew his name and I don’t remember it now). Let’s call him Johnny.

So she’s asking, do you know bro. Johnny.
No I don’t

She then describes Uncle Good afternoon guy.

Ah yes, what happened to him?


Apparently, he had told a number of church members that he had spoken to my father and he will marry me.


Turn to your neighbour, say “Ah!”


Yes oh, Bro.Johnny have been spreading gist in the church that the agreement is that I should just finish secondary school first and then we will do the wedding. As a matter of fact that haven’t they noticed how he and I have been coming to church together and leaving together.

People of God! I was fourteen! This guy was probably in his 30s!

This one pass all those “God said you are my wife” guys oh.


So in the end, they did what everyone does to settle an issue among church members. They reported him to Pastor.


Somebody shout Hallalujah!


Unfortunately, Bro. Johnny was not evicted from the church. But the verdict given by our pastor was something similar to a restraining order.


He started coming late to church and then eventually left


Good riddance!!


3 Replies to “My by-force husband”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s