Introvert-Extrovert relationships are problematic. They are polar opposites and their differences are not habits or actions that can be changed relatively easily with proper conditioning, the differences are personality oriented.
It’s about how people react in social contexts and how it affects them. Factors like social anxiety; how nervous socializing makes people, shyness, deep thought help differentiate introverts and extroverts but more overlooked is social energy.
I am an introvert and socializing drains me. I can think of millions of excuses not to attend a social event unlike my sister who can think of million reasons to mingle.
I wish I had known what you are about to read a few months ago but I hope someone here gets it in time to keep them together with the person of their dreams.
- It’s not by force to be literally together forever
Most introverts will give you grief before you get them out of the house, it’s the way we are and we really don’t need a reason to not want to go out.
As an extrovert what you do is to know which battles to fight. Choose events and keep your feet down for your partner to attend and if they know about it in advance it helps a lot. It gives them the time to mentally prepare (cast demons, bind devils and become transfigured). You also need to be okay not going to events with your significant other but it may take a while. An introvert may forever hate spontaneous social events but there are a lot of other things to be spontaneous about. Just give them time to peel away the layers and reveal their real faces.
- You don’t have to leave together
Couples who have been married for a long time have learned the importance of going to events with different cars, you may need to borrow a leaf. If you drag an introvert out they will definitely get tired long before you. Some people will persevere and stay till the end others just can’t. So if you’re dating someone who isn’t longsuffering learn to let them go home because sooner or later they’re going to unwittingly ruin your event with their sour mood. They’re really just drained.
- Peace, Space & Quiet
Introverts need alone time, think of it as eating food to get energy. You need to give space or at the very least quiet. It’s worse when your partner works in a very social they space they make come home bright and happy but that’s really the last bar of the battery giving notification that it’s about to die. People often mistake it for mood swings and although in some ways that’s what it is, it’s nothing a period of peace and quiet can’t fix. Sometimes just seat with your partner and Netflix and chill.
- Know how to converse.
While extroverts are extremely good at conversing if you’re in a relationship with one you have to learn how to take your game to the next level. Introverts are quiet a lot of times because the discussion hasn’t pulled our strings. When that happens watch us dominate the conversation. Think of it as laying the foundation then allowing us to build the rest of the house. Some introverts prefer texts to face to face communication, try and find that right balance for your relationship. A word of advice serial questions is not a great way to get introverts to talk, but it is a way a lot of introverts often try to get people to talk.
- Be Yourself
A lot of times extroverts try to tame themselves to become more introverted and vice versa and this doesn’t work because you will end up killing yourself and your relationship. You want to reach a compromise not a conformity. Introverts are great listeners, do your thing and talk. Soon they’d take over the conversation. You can scale down social events you attend together or you can just have more compact social events with a few friends as against a full blown party. Be crazy even when your partner is the sane one in the room, they love it that way even though they may never tell you.
Most importantly have clear and straight conversations about limits and know how much solitude you as an extrovert can handle and how much mingling your introverted partner can take without needing to enter the ground to find peace.
To both introverts and extroverts know your limits but don’t be stubborn about it, be flexible and challenge yourself take on a little more adventure and a little more routine most importantly meet yourselves halfway
NONE OF THE IMAGES USED IN THIS POST ARE MINE.