To Live 

Written by Idaphuerie

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.’                                     Oscar Wilde 
For years I simply…existed

I existed through parental expectations

Through teachers expectations

Through personal expectations

Always expecting disapproval from everyone else

Because I didn’t approve of myself 

I existed
I glided through rejection

I glided through betrayal

I didn’t let myself register it too much though

Those years are forever in a fog

Because I simply existed

I couldn’t love, not really

Love demands total commitment of self

I didn’t even know myself 

How could I give what I didn’t have 
One day, I made a conscious choice 

To live 

I shook off the darkness and the fog

And I let it all in

The pain, the hurt

They helped me build inner strength 

The laughter, the friends 

Helped me build compassion

The struggles, the tears

Helped me learn patience and perseverance 

The years of loneliness 

Helped me learn to accept others regardless

It took a while and it hurt

But I would never go back to simply existing

Yes it is is easier

Yes it hurts far less

But the allure of living is 

At the end of the day, it counts

You count 
It feels great to hear my heartbeat sometimes 

Reminds me of what I almost gave up

And to never let go of life 

I choose life

Do you?

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