I was in Jss 3, we had finished writing our NECO or Junior WAEC, but the school decided giving us a bible camp would assist our destiny more than sending us home since the school term hadn’t ended. A friend of mine and I, although we weren’t friends at the time, were chosen to serve as “Chaplains” as it were. Our job was basically to welcome the people that would be preaching to us, stall and kill time, list students to take prayer points and handle the choir (that was pretty much made up off Js 3 members of the school choir and anyone that felt that they could sing). I would later find out that feeling you could sing is a horrible motivation to join a choir.
One day, we were waiting for the next minister who was running really late and we were running out of people to lead praise and worship because the regulars had either almost miraculously lost their voices, had already run out of songs or were not just led to sing.
Up comes a Joshua, to take over and lead us into the musical promise land where will be singing Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus and filing a formal complaint with whatever Angel is in charge of spiritual punctuality against the man of God who had kept us waiting for almost an hour.
Our Joshua takes the microphone and within five minutes she had sang on about five different keys. It was absolute chaos. The Bass guitarist at the time was the most musically adept and before he could find the key and tell the keyboardist, Joshua had changed levels again.
At this point the only person not finding this irritating is the drummer, he’s just there flogging the drums like one of the wicked teachers in my primary school would do to our butts. This goes on for another few minutes and I’m just there waiting for the next key to come along.
The noise level -and that’s really what it was; noise- suddenly reduces, it takes me a second to figure out the keyboard was silent, before I turn around to look at the keyboard area, I see the keyboardist, keyboard in hand angrily matching towards the altar. At the same time I catch a car pulling up to the hall with the corner of my eye. The preachers here, and the keyboardist is about to send the soloist to hell, with a keyboard for that matter.
This is the point in cartoons that everyone starts running around hands in air as if trying to reach to space, screaming “the world’s coming to an end!” And really this is what’s going on in my head.
Someone from the instrument stand intercepts the keyboardist just as he puts a foot on the first step of the altar. He tries to yank the keyboard from but the keyboardist is too strong, in a few seconds, everyone would notice what’s going on, if both he and the keyboardist start a tug of war at the side of the altar. The Preacher is ascending the stair case to the hall, the world is still about to end, the cartoons in my head are still running up and down with hands raised up.
In a sudden twist, the intercepter convinces the keyboardist to turnaround and head back to the instrumental stand, the madness is over before it even starts, the preacher enters the hall and by the time he gets to his seat the keyboard is back up, trying to chase Joshua as she changes keys…again.