*CRIES IN SMALL BUM BUM*

Twitter and I have this love-hate relationship. On one hand, I like gist so twitter makes amebo easy. I tried to fast from twitter last month; EPIC FAIL! Gist is just too sweet.

On the other hand, there are many things I hate about twitter. Like how stupidity gets retweets. Or how people just like to form political correctness all over the place. Or how trailer can come and jam, unjam and rejam anyone, any time, any place; regardless of who you think your daddy is. Or how every year, there’s a particular way girls take their pictures?

 

PicsArt_11-07-11.03.49

 

And I’m always the last to find out.

 

Twitter serves as a reminder of all the things I don’t have like; money, clothes, bae and of course… BUM BUM.

But really, twitter. Nigerian twitter. You people have no chill.

All these pictures that will be appearing on my TL daily….baddies and postbadbitches. You people just tweet butts of all shapes and sizes, you can’t allow me see road. Guys be like “This is what a real woman should look like”. So… me I’m what now?

What’s that girls name again… “agnes gerald” with those her videos  and fake deep captions .WHERE IS SHE ALWAYS WALKING TO?, I mean, how does she even find trousers her size? Is she the only one eating Ghanaian jollof?

I know I sound pained. But guys it’s not fair nau.

I know guys dating skinny girls that literally have to defend their manhood any time the body type comes up. Like you are not a real guy if she isn’t carry junk in the trunk.

When we were growing up, I remember people used to come to my house and tell my parents that they should ” be careful oh!, the way she’s going you would have to chase all those boys away with cutlass!”   Back then, model physique was all the rage.   Abgani Darego was Nigeria’s beauty symbol. You know… It was a good time for my people. I thought I was going to be a hot cake in my 20s.

I would have been all like “Guys..guys… calm down … there’s enough Princess for everyone”

Now MBGN 2015 slim thick.

mbgn

Bum bum has entered beauty pagents.

Issallova!

God punish the Kardashians

God punish Nicki Minaj and Iggy and Amber Rose and Beyonce.

May their off spring have concave behinds.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “*CRIES IN SMALL BUM BUM*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s