So maybe I was talking in class, in my defense the lecturer wasn’t audible and my ears are to small to be strained. Also, it was one of those general courses that the whole graduating class offers. I was sitting somewhere close to the front (because I’m a selectively serious student) and the lecturer reading the bio data of the lecturer that was actually going to take the course spotted me and was pointing in my direction. Naturally I sat up and pretended I had been listening the whole time.
When he is done reading the bio data, he welcomes the other lecturer gets off the stage and begins to work towards my direction. I have a good idea of what’s going to happen, or at least I thought I did.
When he gets to where I’m sitting he stops and begins to ask me and the person I was talking to (who happens to be a Princess from Anambra state, or at least we call her Princess, I don’t know who’s traditional royalty anymore).
I bend down, pretend to try and get something out of my bag but I’m actually admiring his pretty cool looking but fake Italian shoes (Disclaimer: I have no way of identifying what real Italian shoes look like, I’m bush like that). So he’s essentially taking to the Anambra Princess (it’s important that you don’t confuse her with a Princess of Warri that I know, who is also in no way related to this story), and I’m window shopping on his feet.
My head was probably down for a few seconds but while its down I sense it’s time to lift if up. As I do that, the mans hand comes slowly but surely too my face. In the few split seconds that it takes his hand to get to my face, I mentally eliminate the possibility of a slap but I’m still clueless and decide to engage facial evasive maneuver.
It doesn’t work at all, his hand latches to my face and begins to toggle my beards. Herein is the problem; I HAD NO BEARDS! He was essentially rubbing my chin and the few strands that the clipper had missed when I shaved, all the while smiling like he was looking at his wife
After this very awkward ordeal, the Princess of Anambra tells me that he said “fine boy”. Herein is the second problem; HE CAME TO SCOLD ME AND IS NOW CALLING ME FINE BOY!
Therefore, I’ve written this so that for all intents and purposes it would be documented that
I’m not gay
I like women
Although I’m single but no longer searching … Well I like women