Recently, my cousin was telling me the story of how she was sent to go and withdraw some money from the ATM and a man followed her. At first she ignored the man, thinking there was nothing to it besides how would he know she was heading to the ATM? Or could he she thought?
Quickly she realised the man wasn’t following her because of the money, he was following her because of her she was a woman. The man called out to her and tried to touch her, probably to give her some freshly thought up pick-up lines. Unknown to my cousin and her now public admirer, her Dad had been following them for some time. When it was gradually becoming clear what his intentions were, my uncle literally appeared from nowhere and smacked the guy. He roughed up the guy and started shouting “THIEF!!” I think her Dad went as far as taking him to the police station. Accusing him of trying to steal was really the only thing her Dad could accuse him off. In Nigeria, sexual harassment is still an oyibo problem.
Fast forward to a few days after that, my sister and I were walking to church, I decided to walk behind her because the streets were really narrow and okada people tend not to care too much for human life.
In the 7 minutes it took us to walk from the house to the church I lost count of the amount of men that rotated their necks almost a full 90 degrees to get a better vantage point of my sister’s gluteus maximus. On a number of such occasions when their necks returned from the rotation, their eyes met mine and would turn away sheepishly. It wasn’t so much that I was her brother that embarrassed them, it was that they got caught admiring Gods creation by someone outside their male circles of trust, not to mention more than half of them were old enough to give birth to her.
At 15 guys started sending notes to my sister saying “God said you will be my wife, can I get your phone number.” On one occasion, one of them went as far as following her to the car when she wouldn’t give her number only to meet my infuriated mother, unfortunately for him, he was begging my mother for transport money only a few weeks prior. Lets just say it didn’t end well.
I think it’s about time we started having some more discussions and sermons on self control among men. This is how it starts and the next thing we are discussing is that the man forced himself on the woman all because she has big butt cheeks.
This lack of self-control is part of why we have baby mamas looking for media attention because they cant afford to take care of their child after the baby daddy did a Houdini trick. At the rate we are going it would soon be abnormal to be born into a family where your Mummy and Daddy are actually married.
I am no saint either but at least I know and I am ready to admit that something is wrong.
Images are not mine