Your Basic Guide To Trekking 

 

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I simply cannot understand the new trekking trend. It’s really confusing as to why someone will subject himself to such suffering for a politician that will not even take the pains to bend down for you. I am so confused. 
Is it that Nigerians have been deprived of attention so much that people now want to perform the attention trekkathon? Maybe there is a secret payment that happens when they finish trekking that many of us don’t know about. Please I want to know about how much it is so that I can prepare my canvas shoes And join. 
Then there are those trekking for “noble causes.” Well I support your cause but your trekking is still funny to me. I even wish it were even a new excersise trend, it would have made more sense that way. 
Anyway here’s your basic guide to joining the attention trekkathon:
1. Find a cause: a politician leaving or entering office will be most suitable. Jonathan and Buhari trekking has already become cliche so find someone else. 
2. Let everyone know you want to Trekk: The whole point of the trekkathon is attention so you need social media publicity, if possible try and get on Linda Ikejis Blog. If you’re trekking without people knowing you are just suffering for suffering sake. (Even if people do know you’re still most likely twittering for suffering sake).
3. Have a thick skin. Nigerians have fallen out of love with treckers, so when you are insulted and described as wasting your destiny, you must stand tall and say “I choose to treck till my destiny is as great as Nigerian power supply!”
4. Money or Prayers: You better have money to feed yourself on your journey or pray someone is in your mood because if you die nobody will care much.
5. Last but most importantly, you need to be jobless. Quit your job because it may not be there when you get back. If you don’t have a job you are already prequalified. If you don’t have a traditional job but have something to keep yourself busy, you will need to stop that too, the trekkathon is no respecter of business. 
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