What Parenting isn’t

I’m only 20 years old. I know that

To the old and experienced, I know nothing about what parenting is

But as a child who went through parenting

I know what Parenting isn’t

Firstly, Parenting isn’t a ‘do-as-I-say’ affair

It certainly isn’t

Children, (especially nowadays) are adventurous and rebellious in nature.

Children don’t want to follow the rules, they want to know why rules aren’t mean to be broken

Children need a reason why you are telling them to do whatever it is you are instructing them to do. Try that

I only started doing what my parents told me willingly, when I understood why. Take it as education and enlightenment, and not the ‘bullying’ you called parenting.

Still on instructions, You can’t possibly expect your child to be something you are not without divine intervention

Why? Well, because firstly, your children aren’t blind. They don’t just see you, they unconsciously observe and study you

So you can’t expect your child to be tidy, when your own space is a mess, for example

It just doesn’t work that way

My advice, be what you want your child to be before you have that child

Secondly, Parenting isn’t verbal abuse

You don’t pour insults and hurtful words on a child all in the name of correction and discipline

This is the mistake that almost every parent makes

Personally, I have been called all sorts of names

At a point, I started telling myself I was what I being called because of how often I heard it

This makes the parents job even more frustrating because then you find out your child is becoming worse

Words are seeds, they grow in the mind, quite rapidly

Call your child stupid? Watch stupidity take over

Call your child a prostitute? Heyy, Ho Ho Ho! Before Christmas 

Call your child an asshole? You’d be getting shitty attitude most of the time

Instead of using these words, try saying ‘Don’t be stupid’

See that? You’re telling the child not to be something, rather than shoving horrible characteristics down his/her mind through words

You’re welcome

By Davina Oriakhi

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