Akpo! Your Brother May Be Senseless

Dear Akpo, 

I bring you greetings from your Aunty Tejiri, she is currently in Libya on official assignment. For reasons unknown to me, she has insisted I speak to your brother. Unfortunately all attempts to reach him have yeilded a multiplicity of none frutition. I suspect that he has once again left school to proceed on his usual misadventures. Akpo, I trust you must have spoken to him before but to prevent the outpouring of anger from your Aunty if her message is not delivered, I beseech you to talk to him again. 

 Akpo, I fear that perhaps while God  distributing intellectual abilities to your generation your brother proceeded to the brothel before he could receive his. I say this not out of hatred but out of perplexity as to why your brother is so insouciant with his life. Your Aunty told me of his misadventures and I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. I wonder why any self respecting human being should go for his lectures unsober. I saw a few of those during my days in the university but never once did I see someone with as much parental discipline as you and your brother exhibit such foolhardy behavior. 

I believe he is still on a 2.1 and he is in his penultimate year yet, he has the impetus and sagacity to go and digest pharmaceuticals without prescription. He thinks he is getting high? He is killing what is left of his excuse of a brain. At 21, your brother has shown no signs of mental development in the area of self respect. He thinks your Aunty is going to use her connections to find him a job right? She says to tell him that she will not die on top of his matter. 

Your Aunty told me that not only is he a crack head, he is The Crack head in your school. Akpo, reason with me here. What is the point of getting high when all that one does with the high will be forgotten once sober ness reclaims it’s position. Akpo, the way your brother is going he will end up like Mr. Daniel – in the grave! 

Your Aunty even told me he has a girlfriend. I wonder why any girl with even one percent of dignity would date your brother. The way he is behaving ought to be a call to a life of singleness and intoxicated celibacy. Even you with all your sense of purpose and seriousness are still concerned about fufiling your dreams, how then will someone like your brother fufil his. He is probably promising that his girlfriend marriage and money but I can assure you both of them will have poverty as their gateman and hunger as their cook if they get married because if you cannot go to a class that is a walkable distance, how do you go work that may be kilometers away not to talk of actually earning money. 

If not for the power of God I would believe your brother was past redemption. Your mother is at home looking after his 8 month old child that the baby mama left for dead and he is in school getting high! His stupidity is profound!

Akpo! Please talk to your brother again! Tell him to call me so that I can venerate my vexations over the phone. Please greet Tobi for me and also Aunty Tejiri said to tell you that she will be sending someone to replace your broken iPad screen so you can enjoy yourself. Akpo one last thing, aviod spending all your money on blazers, you already look like a tooth pick get some food into your system. 
Your  Uncle,
Ugo Talks A lot.


2 Replies to “Akpo! Your Brother May Be Senseless”

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