AKPO! You Will Not Get A Job!

Dear Akpo,

How are you? Your Aunty Tejiri says to greet you. I initially wanted to congratulate you on Man U’s qualification in the UEFA champions league but upon hearing their opponents in the upcoming quater finals, I wish to tender an advanced consolation for their inevitable destruction. 

Your Aunty Tejiri has asked me to write to you and to inculcate into your skull the precariousness of your predicament. She told me that you would be graduating soon and you are still uncertain about your life- present and future. I was informed that you were on a first class but were uncertain about where you wanted to work in the comming months after your graduation, but that you wanted to become an ambassador. This would have seemed contradictory to me if I had not experienced it myself. 

Akpo, I have just one thing to tell you.

Akpo! There are no jobs in this country! 

This country is not for the book smart it is for the street smart! All the rhetoric you are being taught is almost irrelevant in the grand scheme of things! Your CGPA may be first class but what class is your skill set? What class is your common sense? Certificate nowadays only gets you the right to apply for a Job and be considered for an interview. It doesn’t guarantee the interview not to mention the actuall job. 

Can you remeber your Aunty’s friend, Gbemisola? He graduated with a first class in Public administration, today later he is working as a small time reporter in WAZOBIA FM, and has been in the same position that he was employed into 11 years ago. I am not saying that good jobs do not exist anymore but I am asking you, besides your CGPA, in the words of D-Prince “what is your selling point?” Permit me to also add, how sellable is your selling point. Would you employ yourself as your own personal assistant? I am not asking you to deprioritize your academics, 

God Forbid!

 However I am telling you that your certificate doesn’t guarantee you that ambassadorial appointment you are so eagerly dreaming of. It doesn’t even gurantee you a job in the Nigerian embassy to Antigua or any other country for that matter. It doesn’t even score you points with the political Godfathers you may need to get the job. 

I do not think it will be wrong to remind you of the NIS job examination tragedy that happened recently. Imagine how our government killed those innocent people because of unemployment and I recently read in the newspaper that the government has offered jobs to the family members of the victims. Akpo, your Aunty is not looking for a job oh! Don’t go and die!

What are your passions, talents and the items on your bucket list? Those are pointers to where your employment and destiny fulfillment is. Take some time and ask questions from relevant people around the world. Some of them are easily approachable on social media platforms. 

Akpo, I know as you are reading this, you are calculating how you will buy something  to eat and still buy that birthday gift for your girlfriend, don’t grow grey hairs just yet, I have put money in your account.

Please continue to read your books and greet your girlfriend for me, I keep forgetting her name, I think it’s Tobi or something like that. Also please give credence to what I have said.

Your Uncle ,
Ugo Talks A lot!

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