I Wanted To Be A Pastor Who Played, Football And Could Sing.

The first thing I can remember ever wanting to be when I grew up was a pastor. I had about two jean jackets and a small red tie. So every morning I would wake up, suit up and start ministering to my congregation which only included one living member- my sister and all our toys. As soon as NEPA would see fit to give us the previledge of electricity I would re-watch and re-listen to all the VHS cassettes we had were there were sermons. I was so notorious in our compound. Everyone knew my “annointed voice”. I even went as far as trying to write a book when I was about 7 or 8. I thought the way I wrote the book would be the exact way  it would be published so I tried to make my chicken scratch handwriting as neat as possible. I also used the bulk of my creative stupidity (I mean all my pencils and crayons) to design the cover page.

As I grew older,  I started singing and dancing but my sister killed those dreams when she said I was a talentless Michael Jackson. That was my first heart break in life. Within a short time I had moved from ministry to chemistry and physics. I think it was either a skill I never used or I had watched too much Dexters Laboratory but I wanted to be a scientist. I turned my bathroom into my secret laboratory and I would mix all manner of concussions  comprising of my mothers wasted and no longer wanted creams, shampoos and make-up kits not to mention the occasional sand analysis and leaf engineering. At this point my Dad was sure his only son was confused. 

A short while later I wanted to be a computer scientist. I would disconnect and reconnect our desktop wiring  at home. I felt so smart cause no one besides me could do it. So when I didn’t want my sister to use the desktop I would disconnect all the wires and we would negotiate. Our desktop had no mouse so I became an expert at maneuvering a computer using only the keyboard. The most complex program I could use on the computer at the time was Microsoft Outlook. It was at this point I wanted to form my own world for children and that was definately because of watching too much Kids Next Door. When I discovered my hatred for Maths (actually my penchant for failing maths) would hinder my computer dreams I moved to the next occupation- Football! 

I couldn’t play, I was fat and my butt was big. I remeber the day the coach played me as a sub, it was the highlight of my career prior to that time. I was gravely fascinated by David Beckham’s free kicks so after school I would take free kicks from the middle of our semi-demi Olympic sized football pitch. Our pitch was so bad that it had no grass. However my football skills didn’t improve till Js 1 but my shot power did. I took a mean shot. The actuall highlight of my footballing career was scoring from the center arc when I was in Js 1, but I am pretty sure it was because the goal keeper was a pipe. That would be the first and second to the last goal I would score despite the fact that I was a first team regular for my house. The actuall truth was that football was too dangerous a game for me. I was always scared of recieving sliding tackles so in Js 2 I started playing the passing game. I delibrately never held the ball for longer than 5 seconds. I would pass everywhere and funny enough it almost always got to my team mates even when I was passing in another direction. I also played imaginary football matches in the bathroom. I wonder how I never injured. All the while I had rekindled my love for singing, so I later wanted to become a footballer who could sing. 

After my footballing career signaled me that I would be hungry if I tried it, I decided to become mature so I revisited my dream of speaking but this time I wanted to be a lawyer not a pastor. I tried reading my parents law books but I never seemed to pass the first page because they were so boring. I was undeterred however. I became an addict to law shows. I watched almost every episode of Law and Order, a large number of episodes of Law and order SVU, I watched Boston Legal and Matlock. I also watched movie portrayals of Agatha Christes novels. I was facinated by crime and the judicial system. 

I also wanted to be a police officer at one point in my life but I can’t remeber when. Anyway now I have no particular occupation in my mind, I just want to sing write and speak. 


6 Replies to “I Wanted To Be A Pastor Who Played, Football And Could Sing.”

  1. Woow…I’ve always wantedto be a paediatrician…then wanted to be a dancer cos of those dance movie (failed terribly), then again wanted to be a drummer cos of the movie-drumline, in secondary school wanted to become a singer but had stage fright(that’s still my dream though). University came and my dream changed again. Right now I actually don’t know what I want.


  2. Lmao. I wanted to be an engineer when I was very young and later I decided that flying aircrafts was better.I fell in love with nursing when I was 9 and later decided that farming was my calling when I met my aunt who had a small farm (she always gave me snails to play with!eww.).*sighs* Now I’m studying law nd I don’t know if I want to practice or lecture!..#hardknocklife. The only thing I’m sure about is being a farmer.#longstory. Nice write up sha!…the part where u said “penchant for failing maths”had me laughing hard.


  3. i wanted to be a doctor then at a time when my sister and i developed interest in fixing things, i decided i wanted to be an engineer then when i could actually use a hammer without hitting my finger nails, i decided i wanted to be a carpenter after that i wanted to be an illustrator of kids books, then an artist, then a writer, then a nurse, a farmer…the list is endless but dreams do die but all we have to do is work hard to keep them alive.


  4. I wanted to be a doctor, and then at some point I wanted to be a banker, and then at a time I discovered that talking was one of my strongest points so I wanted to be a radio presenter and tv presenter…. now I don’t even know what I want to do


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