What Should You Pack For This Journey to 2018

We are swiftly reaching that 365 days mark that makes everyone go momentarily insane, believing that they can suddenly be a different person and live a totally different life on day 366 😂. #Newyearnewme and all that hoopla. Then by February, Valentine’s day will come and strip us of all the sense we managed to acquire. It’s the circle of life I guess, why fight it?
So, if you are wondering what outrageous resolution to make from January to March, and you have no idea, don’t worry let me help you small. We can cheat small, using the things that 2017 tried to teach us but some of us weren’t listening.

Resolution 1: Pledge Not to Sexually Harass Women in 2018

leave-us-alone
Women are sexually harassed every day. It’s not a Harvey Weinstein problem or a Hollywood problem or a Donald Trump problem. As a wise man by the name of Trevor Noah said, sexual harassment and sexual assault is a man problem. So maybe as a guy, when you are planning to change for the better for the next few months, how about giving women a break from your wahala for a while. We would really appreciate it. You can talk to your friends, so it’s like a nationwide guys movement #MeninistsNG . Who knows, after a few weeks, you might like how it feels to get a woman’s attention without imposing yourself in her space.

Resolution 2: Working Remotely is Now the Default Option

 

anigif_enhanced-18849-1431683688-1They say leaders should lead by example right? Who is our leader? President Bubu. What does he do? He works remotely. Nigga was chilling throughout most of the year and sending us postcards of his enjoyment and he’s STILL President. He came back and as an IJGB he couldn’t handle the Nigeria again and he decided to cry “rat”. Even at some point, we had both President and Acting President, in same country!

President Bubu was just like ” please, I cannot come and go and kill myself”. So… Why should you? Are you better than your President? Resolve to live your best life this coming year my nigga. Don’t let work kill you. Work from home, take a freaking vacation.

Resolution 3: Too Much Wokeness Causes Insomnia

cmlqvb
Still in the mood of I cannot come and kill myself, let me ask you, all this your wokeness, who e don epp? Did you get any bank alat? Your mates that have been sleeping, didn’t they still reach the end of the year with you? The only difference is that you are reaching the end of the year carrying another person’s headache.
Let’s leave all this trans-age, trans-self, trans-sense things behind us. Wokeness to the point of disturbing ancient spirits and traditions? If they are not chasing you, why are you running? Relax please, life is not that serious. At the end of the day, we all die…so don’t be the one to kill yourself.

Resolution 4: Be Your Own Cheerleader

0106c41e2b24e1a590093cf33c241afd

Every year that passes, we show again and again that we care so much about people’s approval to the point of losing self-worth. No boo, blow your own trumpet and they will follow you.
No need to keep retweeting your picture for more likes. No need to tell lies just to retweets. No need to ruin your friendships for likes. People’s affirmation don’t make you and if we’re being honest, no matter how much attention you get in that moment, no one really cares about you. We’ll move on to the next interesting thing. So what have you gained?
Do better in 2018

Resolution 5 : Feminists Are Not The Enemy

Image result for this is what a feminist looks like obama
Imagine you write a test and you’re sure you did really well. The results come out and your score is pretty bad. You check other people’s answers and they all wrote exactly what you wrote but were given better scores than you. Wouldn’t you want to take it up with the teacher? Does you getting a better score affect that of those who scored well? No. This is just an example of the inequality and discrimination women face and are fighting against. And instead of getting support, everyone is busy trying to invalidate our claims. Trying to change the conversation to cooking arguments and paying for the date arguments. Or misquoting scripture and implying that God that created man, both male and female is a misogynist.
Why though? us getting equal treatment doesn’t affect you. We are human just like you. We work just as hard, just in different ways, yet you expect us to accept less reward and take it quietly?
In 2018, do us a favour, whether you are male or female, you may not agree with cause, but you really don’t have to oppose it either. We aren’t trying to take what is yours, we just want our fair share.

Resolution 6: The Only #goals You Need is To Do What Actually Makes You Happy.

d8413c2b535c4b8bd610fb44d8cc60f9

Some of your mates are millionaires. Some of them have the cutest boyfriend/girlfriend. Some of them are married. Some of them are slay-queens. Some of them travel around the world on a whim. Meanwhile, you are still trying to figure your life out. When people ask you “so what are you doing these days” you cringe and now you are letting the pressure of trying to reach #goals push you into making stupid decisions.

You don’t have it all figured out, we are all working on different timelines. There’s no rush, we all shine in different ways at different times and that’s okay. The best way to move forward is to compete with yourself, not others. Try and beat your own record and you’ll see yourself making progress every day.

2018 is another year. It might be amazing, it might not be. That’s not pessimism, it’s just fact. All in all, as long as there’s life, there’s hope. Man makes plans and resolutions but it’s God who makes things come to fruition. So, for me, my mantra for the year is simple: In God I Trust. You can join me if you like.

2017 has been another wild rollercoaster ride, I’m looking forward to another one. See you on the 2018 side.

Advertisements

Biggest Lessons Learned This Year

I’m going to be 23 in a few days and I wanted to share some of the biggest lessons I learnt as a 22 year old. I hope they help some of you and save you the stress of learning them the hard way.

First things first,

1. Avoid having just one source of income:

The hustle in Nigeria is very real. Sometimes you can be employed and your bank account will not know it because salary does not enter like that. So, get a side hustle, if you can get a second job that allows you work remotely. I could have learnt this the hard way but I’m grateful I didn’t and it payed off. The pay for your side gig doesn’t have to be fantastic because this could just be to supplement your income and keep you alive should someone owe you salary.

2. Savings are still a thing:

The honest truth is that it’s very difficult to save if you live in Nigeria but savings will keep you alive. Take away a portion of your monthly income(s) and keep it somewhere, it could be really small like N5,000 a month or really large. It depends on how much you make. Just make sure something is being saved. Here’s a tip, open a bank account and do not collect a debit card and dont download the bank app. If I’m being totally realistic with you, you most likely will dip into your savings before you want to, but at least you had savings to start with.

3. Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture:

This is something I continue to grapple with, because for a lot of us young people, our present jobs or internships are not where we really want to be but we have to pay the bills to fund our dreams. I’ve tried to not lose sight of my dreams, I keep reminding myself about them and keep working towards them. Whether it’s furthering a career, going back to school or an alternate career path, don’t get lost in the sauce you’re currently in.

4. Do your job well:

There are a lot of things that are complain-worthy in the workplace on a daily basis, one thing you don’t want anyone complaining about is your work ethic. At the very least you want every complain about your work ethic to be left without a leg to stand on. Do your job well, show up to work on time, let everything you need to do be done before you work closes. Part of doing your job well is that you ask questions and are completely clear on what is expected of you. I tried to do this a lot this year, I always asking and trying to understand what was expected on every given task and I like to think it paid off.

5. Learn:

For the first few months this year my reading habit was out of the widow. Scratch that, I didn’t have a reading habit because I wasn’t reading anything. I’d like to tell you that there was some larger than life reason why that happened but it was just laziness. I had to sit myself down and remind myself how important it was to keep learning and acquiring new information and after that talk I stood up and went to find something to read. To be honest it doesn’t matter much whether you’re reading novels or some philosophical book about purpose of mosquitoes, just make sure you’re reading something.

Let me just add that you don’t get points for finishing every book you open. If the book wasn’t what you thought it would be dump it and move on to another one. It’s not by force.

6. NYSC is a waste of your time so give yourself something better to do.

These are some of the best lessons I’ve learnt this year. They’ve helped me, I hope they help you too and if there’s any tip you want to add, the comment section is wide open. I’d love to hear from you.

What the PDP convention tells us as we enter the 2019 election season.

With the election season entering top gear, Nigeria’s opposition party PDP, decided to have its convention and finally settle a two year leadership tussle that had seen the party fall behind APC. With Atiku Abubakar, arguably Nigeria’s best branded politician moving back to the party from APC, the convention should have been a moment to put APC on notice and inspire Nigerians, it did not live up to the expectations.

While the convention had all the ingredients to motivate PDP’s core supporters, it was more of the same political rigmarole in a time when Nigerians are looking for something else.

The results of the PDP convention are worrying for a plethora of reasons. For one, Nigeria’s two biggest thug life governors, Rivers state governor Nyesom Wike and Ekiti state governor Peter Fayose put what was left of PDPs old guard on notice. The party, in 2016 had agreements to zone the chairmanship to the south-west, Wike apparently didn’t get the memo as he put his weight behind Uche Secondus and shoved out heavy weights like Bode George and Otungba Gbenga Daniel.

Despite Bode George’s rants about this in a press release, it is difficult to be sympathetic to a man who after many years of “service” is a crystal clear representation of the crop of Nigerian leadership that has led the country to the conundrum that it is now in. In fact Bode George is crying because for the first time in a long time he has tasted a medicine he had distributed to so many over the counter and that is joyous to behold.

But the joy is a short one because a PDP at the beck and call of Wike or Fayose for that matter is not really the type of party that Nigeria needs and it doesn’t matter whether they are the opposition or in government, like APC, they’re just not it.

The absence of women and young people in PDPs core positions show that the party is not ready to change or reinvent itself to the times. It is not even prepared to pretend. With Fayose’s stomach infrastructure and Rivers state’s money PDP may do well for themselves come 2019, but history has told us that what is good for PDP or APC for that matter is not always good for Nigeria.

What then can ordinary Nigerians do? Time is ticking and with APC and PDP at the forefront of Nigeria’s leadership tussle the projections do not bode well for an inspirational or impactful election season.

There are a lot of small impact things we can do, one is to join political parties whether it’s APC or PDP. We need to get in there en mass and we need to stamp our foot down and not settle for more of the same.

Second is to become open and comfortable with the idea of exploring options outside the PDP and APC. Some of the smaller party candidates we will see in the coming months may or may not have a profile of Atiku’s popularity and they will definitely not have the bank of the two political titans but can we not automatically assume all of them are incompetent? We need to settle and examine their proposals and plans on a case by case basis.

Third, vote PDP or APC on a policy basis. Elections in Nigeria are rarely ever about the policy, sometimes they are about proposed actions but never about the how to (the plan). They are always about the person and the party. We can’t afford that in 2019. Support whoever you want to but make sure you know and agree with what they want to do and how they say they want to do it. Ask questions!

Finally vote! Your vote matters, it counts, your vote can decide a ward and that ward can decide a state. It matters. Do not sell it and if you must eat Ayo Fayose’s rice, still vote with your conscience. Nigeria cannot afford for you to be apolitical, get down in the grind put your ears to the floor and consult your brain. God help us and let 2019 be favorable for all those who want Nigeria’s progress.

How I tried and failed to be good at sports

I once told the story of how I wanted to play football but that’s not the total story. I have in fact, failed excellently at being very good at any and every sport. I am going to give you the entire, never before heard gist, sport by sport and failure by failure.

Football

To my American readers, its football, not soccer. How will you qualify for the world cup when you keep calling the sport the wrong name? Lets all respect ourselves. You don’t hear us calling the NFL, American Rugby do you?

Football is a very big deal in Nigeria and in my school, you could get really cool social points for being good at it. In primary school, try as I did, I never made the cut for the team. There was even a time that my Dad had told the coach not to include me in the team. It was so perplexing because the coach was never going to select me to begin with. It’s wasn’t like he was having issues with his squad depth.

I was probably bad at football because, I wasn’t fit or particularly active. I have always been a bed bug and back then, I had a mortal fear of getting tackled. You couldn’t really blame me considering the fact that my schools football field was made up of sand and small stones.

In secondary school, I managed to get into the football team for my house. The only reason why that happened is because we weren’t good at football. We came third out of four houses in junior secondary and fourth out of four in senior secondary school. I only recall scoring one goal in six years of playing in secondary school and it was in a very random friendly game in Js 1. That is why I resonate so well with Mikel, I prefer passing back. I will however admit that one goal in six years is really really bad, especially for a winger.

I retired’ in SS3 after assisting my house to last place in the annual inter house sports. I was the head boy and the two head boys before me had seriously injured themselves in SS 3 playing football. I was not ready to test my luck. God forbid bad thing.

Basketball

If there was a game I should never ever have attempted it’s basketball. I was terrible at it. Absolutely terrible. I never understood the rules and I never knew what I was doing. I was like a square peg in a round rim. Don’t even bother giving me a free throw, I missed every free throw I ever took and even threw a number of them out of the field. You could have called me a traveler because that was all I did with the ball.

Handball

My total career playing time for handball is probably 10 minutes, if you include training sessions. I don’t consider my career failure in handball as an actual failure because I always knew that the sport was not for me. Unlike basketball where I was deceiving my generation.

Shout out to our Js 3 handball keeper, Micheal Olorunfemi who helped us win the competition despite dislocating an arm before the game.

Track & Field

For whatever reason I’ve always thought I could run. Maybe because when I’m running the breeze bowing back at me tricks my mind into believing I’m moving mighty fast.  When someone is running beside or behind me, that’s a different story. In fact the only race I think I have confidently won against my age mates is a sack race I won for my house in primary school. A very important victory if I do say so myself. I woke up from a nap and went to win the race. #BOSSLIFE

In secondary school, my closest friends were some of the fastest people in the my  set. My best friend Arinze was (because old age and too much food have ended his career prematurely) one of the fastest people in the set. When he and I would race, for the first 2 seconds, in the race, I would be in front but by the end it would look like an abominable something. Let’s just say, if I was the standard for human speed every one would be on performance enhancing drugs.

My condition became an entirely different matter when my sister started winning medals for discus. As for me the only thing I could throw were wrong answers in Math class.

As for high jump and long jump, I’ve always considered myself as a very law abiding human being and I don’t like to fight with gravity.

Volleyball

My career failure in volleyball is the most painful because its the only game I felt like I really should have been good at. Well that and tennis but I have never actually played tennis. I think with Volleyball there were just better players than me and since it wasn’t a game that people randomly played I never really had a chance to practice.

FIFA

I feel the need to include this because with the rise of E-sports, God knows how long before we start playing FIFA at the Olympics. The truth is, how good I am on FIFA depends on who I am playing against. Let me put it like this, if you play Legendary on FIFA, you will wipe the floor with me. Anything lower than that you will most likely beat me except the gods of our land show up that day.

I want to know, what is the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had while playing a sport. Tell me all about in the comment section.

10 Things That Need to Be in The Nigerian Constitution

To whom to may concern,

PETITION FOR THE INCLUSION OF CERTAIN NECESSARY PROVISIONS IN THE NIGERIAN CONSTITUTION

Provision 1: Jollof at parties

We hereby request that the official party food be officially identified as Jollof Rice. Party planners are allowed the privilege of deciding the garnishments to accompany the Jollof. Party planners may also offer other forms of food. However, the ratio of Jollof to other meal types should be no smaller than ratio 5:1.

Also, all Jollof Rices must have evidence of the party flavour i.e bay leaf. Otherwise, it is considered to be in violation of the Jollof Rice law.

Provision 2: Meat at the end of the meal

The official order of meal consumption is every other food group first, protein last. Nigerians are not permitted to eat proteins in the beginning or in the middle of the meal. Such an act should be considered unNigerian and must be punishable by future protein deprivation.

Provision 3: If she vomits she is pregnant

Within the Federal Republic of Nigeria, it is vital that we recognize several means of pregnancy testing. However, the officially recognized pregnancy test which should be considered valid and admissions in the court of law is abrupt vomiting by any female who has reached the age of puberty.

Vomiting is an especially valid sign of pregnancy if it happens mid-sentence. Once a female within the specified age vomits, no further testing is necessary. The pregnancy is confirmed.

Provision 4: Don’t spend clean money

In our great republic, spending any naira note that is still “mint” should be prohibited. Should the case arise that a citizen has no other note in his/her possession, such a person has the right to go begging for dirty notes. Spending of new notes is not permitted under such circumstances.

New naira notes are only to be used for two purposes. First, for the purchase of new items of a high calibre. Second, new notes may be used when sprayed at wedding ceremonies. Any other use outside of this is to be a punishable offence.

Provision 5: Friyay Native Attire

Every Friday is a national holiday from the slavery that is Western clothing. Thus, all true citizens of the Federal Republic of Nigeria are to be clad in “trad”. Violation of this is to be tagged as mutiny and conspiracy to recolonize the country. Such a person is to be ostracized.

Persons exempt from this law are neighborhood lunatics and local law enforcement officials. Which, if we are being honest sometimes make it difficult to know the difference.

Provision 6: NEPA will take light if it rains

We request that in order to reduce the disappointment and hopefulness levels of the citizens of the republic, an official provision should reflect the following; During a thunderstorm or a drizzle, there will be a sustained power outage, which will only be resolved within 1 hour of the rains’ dissipation.

This law also applies to all areas within a 30km radius of where the rain is actually falling.

Other provisions for due consideration include:

  • Items in the market are worth half the original stated price
  • The official TV station at all banking halls is CNN
  • The freshness of a loaf of bread is to be verified by the act of squeezing said bread.
  • Indicator lights are not valid. One must “trafficate” with their hand or be ignored.

Thank you for taking your time to consider our petition. We are open to your feedback and criticism. The aim is to ensure that the constitution reflects the true nature of “We, the people”. If there are any additions you would like to make do let us know in the comment section below.

Until then, we remain the Ugotalksalot Initiative.

Yours Sincerely,
Princess of no Kingdom

New Music: Made In Naija 4Runner ft. Semi

Nigerian rapper, 4Runner finally dishes out the official mp3 version to the highly anticipated record celebrating Nigeria and Nigerians.
Made in Naija is an afrobeat record which features Semi Boomba and is produced by Tamuno Belema.
This Afro hip hop record reveals 4runner’s musical style with a bit of influence from the musical icon, Fela.

Enjoy below and don’t forget to share your thoughts.
Twitter & Instagram: @4runner116, @semi_boomba @williambelema

Sponsored: Top 10 Hangout Spots in Abuja

Abuja isn’t just Nigeria’s political capital. In many ways, it’s the fun city of Nigeria. Abuja is the city with all levels of entertainment, but somehow, many people don’t know where the cool spots are, especially if you new to the city. Lucky for you, there’s an easy guide to having a fun time in Abuja.

  1. The Bank

bank20ab-161-56e82ae479c6eThis is a nightclub located along Aminu Kano Crescent, Wuse II. Some call it the Quilox of Abuja. At the Bank, you’ll enjoy a great mix of music, fun and fashion. If you are lucky, you might catch your favourite celebrity dancing along with you!

Hotels close to The Bank, Abuja
Transcorp Hilton Abuja
Rockview Hotel
Crown Princess Hotels 
Summerset Continental Hotel

2. Blucabana

bluc2-354-570bb3763f277

The Blucabana is a restaurant and cafe located in Mabushi, away from the hustle and bustle of major city areas. Pay the place a visit, enjoy a good meal and have a good time.

Hotels Near BluCabana
Sheraton Abuja Hotel
Hatfield Hotel, Jabi

3. Blake Resort

abuja-nigeria-blakes

The Blake Resort is a great place for fun, hanging out with friends or a night out. Enjoy an outdoor experience in a serene environment. It is nestled at Muhammed Bello Way, Garki II, Abuja.

Hotels Near Blake Resort
Emirates International Hotel
La Don Hotels

4. The Trukadero Place

t

The Trukadero Place is the go-to spot for bowling in Abuja. The establishment is located in  131B Ademola Adetokunbo Crescent, Wuse II, Abuja.

Apart from bowling, you can also enjoy a variety of billiard games, an amusement park, and a restaurant. This is one of the best places to be in Abuja.

Hotels Near The Trukadero Place
Cross Road Hotel (Formerly known as Villa U Hotels)
Chateau de Trybze
Beverly Hills Hotels

5. Cubana Lounge

img_20160426_132309-491-571f5dcb8c2b2

The Cubana Lounge is a great night club in Wuse II. The club features a private jet in the middle of the club.

Hotels Near The Cubana Lounge
Dreamland Suites
Kryxtal Suites Wuse 2
Summit Villas Suites

6. The Secret Garden

best-pizza-in-abuja
The Secret Garden is located in Riverplate Park, off Ahmadu Bello Way. It is a perfect outdoor spot for solitary relaxation or spending quality time with friends and family. It’s also home to the best pizza in Abuja.

Hotels Near The Secret Garden
Bolton White Hotel

7. Sky Bar Rooftop Lounge

header_sky-bar-rooftop-lounge-summerset-abujaThis is a picturesque rooftop bar and one of the most luxurious locations in Abuja. This lounge in Asokoro is great for an intimate night for your special someone.

Hotels Near Skye Bar Rooftop Lounge
Barcelona Hotel

8. Millennium Park

mp-1

Millennium Park is a grand expanse of greenery beautiful for any time of day. At night, the park is especially breathtaking with its subtle lighting and numerous water fountains. Grab a blanket and some food and head over to the park for a nice time.

Hotels near Millennium Park, Abuja
Pope John Paul Catholic Guest House
Orient Hotel

9. Jabi Lake

3316789_origJabi Lake is the closest to a beach experience you can get in Abuja. In some ways, it’s a lot more than a beach with its numerous water sports and the newly completed Jabi Lake Mall offering you endless possibilities.

It’s a great place to spend time as a group, shop, enjoy the view from the terrace or just catch a movie.

Hotels Near Jabi Lake
Nugget Hotels
Reiz Continental Hotel
Ritman Hotels

10. Gurara Falls

guraraThough located on the outskirts of the city borders, Gurara Falls is too beautiful a location to be left out of this list. The fall has amazing scenes of rock formations together with the beautiful flora of evergreen trees and bushes, rivers, ponds and waterfalls all around you. It is located between Suleja, Abuja and Minna, the Niger state capital.

On your way to Gurara Falls, you can make a stop at the glorious national site that is Zuma Rock.

Abuja people, did I miss any place? Don’t beat me, just let me know. Comment comment comment

15 Places Where You Can Find Rich Husbands in Lagos

Wouldn’t you love to have a BellaNaija wedding? To have that Valentino dress, make everyone jealous and all the ladies want to be you? Wouldn’t it be nice to have all your money troubles disappear? You can do things at your own pace from a point of comfort. Or maybe you’re just tired of sharing the bills and having to understand his financial situation.  Baby, you know things are tough right now. 

Girl, you deserve the best in life! Sometimes, you might not just be so lucky to have it happen to you by accident. So go seek it out. Go and find the love of your life that will pamper you will luxury. He might not be hanging out in your usual circle. So…you have to find him in his.

There are a few places in Lagos that are known to be where your future bae hangs out. Most of these places are in Lagos Island, so you might actually want to consider moving there -if you don’t already. Keep reading for a cheat sheet on landing a life of wealth.

 

1. Protea Hotel

protea-hotel-ikeja-lagos-.jpgThis is one of the few establishments in Ikeja that the rich young men are known to congregate. You can also cup yourself an oyibo bae if you play your cards right.

 

2. Four Points

Four-Points-by-Sheraton-Lagos-Hotel.jpgFour Points by Sheraton is the younger cooler version of the vintage Sheraton Hotel. The clientele is notably younger too but the fatness of their wallets is not to be underestimated.

 

3. Eko Hotel

Eko Hotel ans SuitesYou are seeing the trend right? Rich men like to hang out in hotels in Lagos. But not just any hotels, the high-rise ones with expensive rooms. Just stroll in, talk to the receptionists, hang around the lobby and flirt. You never know you might get lucky.

Legend has it that men in Eko Hotel are also considerably generous.

4. Sheraton Hotel

sheratonlagosext.jpgSheraton!. You can’t go wrong with this old faithful. Just buy yourself the most expensive bottle of coke you will find in Lagos, sit down and look pretty.

 

5. Palms Shopping Mall ( specific places like Cafe Vergano)

Palms Shopping Mall Lekki-hotels.ng.jpgYou are probably thinking, “Is it not the same shoprite I go to every day?” No, it isn’t. There’s Palms Shopping Mall and there’s Palms Shopping Mall. You need to open your third eye. There are several lounges in the mall you’ve probably never thought of entering. You should. Your future husband is there.

 

6. Atican Beach Resort

atican beach resort aerial view-hotels.ng.jpgCompared to Elegushi Beach and Oniru Beach, Atican Beach is probably not considered popular. But… it’s one of the Island’s best-kept secrets. It’s private so you can easily walk into a rich young man looking for some relaxation or maybe a group of rich friends just hanging out.

7. Lekki-Ikoyi Bridge at 6 am

Joggers on the Lekki Ikoyi link bridge.jpgWomen are masters at multitasking. It is a known fact. So why not make it worth your while. You can stay fit and meet the love of your life all at once. Here’s how to do it. Wake up in the early am, dress in really nice up-to-date sportswear. No hair net, no hair rollers. Pack that thing is a cute ponytail. Look your best but make sure it’s effortless. You want to give the impression that you woke up like this. Now jog across Lekki-Ikoyi bridge, but not too hard, you have to look like you are floating with every step.

When a car headlight approaches, look unbothered. But also observe the caliber of the vehicle coming your way. It’s the very first impression that counts in this case. You may not meet your Mr. Right the first time, but if you are consistent, you’ll get noticed.

8. Intercontinental Hotel

intercontinental-hotel-lagos.jpegAnother hotel lobby lined with gold, get to digging.

 

9. Lagos Oriental Hotel

lagos-oriental-hotel-lagos-.jpgOlamide shot his “Lagos Boys” video here. So that should tell you something.

 

10. Murtala Mohammed Airport

murtala-muhammed-international-airport-lagos-nigeria-mmia.jpgDon’t all Hollywood romances have an airport scene? Why should our dear MMA be any different? Just be careful not to encounter an overdressed “Importer Exporter” claiming to be an O.B.O.

 

11. Wedding Receptions in Lagos Island

wedding-events-hotels.ng.jpgGo to the wedding looking like a “Slay Mama”, make sure you walk around a lot so he can get several views of you. There’s always that one guy at the wedding that catches your eye and if the wedding is on the Island, then your chances of catching a sugar bae increase exponentially.

 

12. La Mango Restaurant

la-mango-lagos-hotels.ngLa Mango is arguably the most talked restaurant and bar on the mainland. So of course, rich men like to go there. They also particularly love its outdoor seating, it’s breathtaking poolside and the rooftop terrace. Do you know what this means for you? You can wear your swimsuit and show off your best assets.

 

13. Ikeja City Mall (specific places like Rhapsody’s and Spurs)

Rhapsody's Ikeja City Mall.jpgLike I said about The Palms, these malls are not to be underestimated. Look beyond what you see.

 

14. Zenbah

zenbah-hotels.ngThis is one of the most expensive cocktail places in Lagos. You know what that means. No further explanation needed.

 

15. New Age Churches

House on the Rock.jpgElevation Church, House on the Rock, COZA, Guiding Light Assembly and all the “New Age Churches” are the in thing now. What’s better than a rich man who enjoys the presence of God?

There you have it. You’ve got all the tools. Now go forth and prosper. Don’t be selfish, share this with others. You will need a wingman when you go to these places anyways. Please invite me to your wedding, this advice is not for free, I want to eat party rice.

5 Top Events in Lagos to Look Out for in September

September is here! It’s the end of summer aka rainy season in Lagos. Time to cash in on the last of the summer fun. There’s a lot to choose from, whether it is concerts, exhibitions or shows, attend something. Don’t dull yourself this September.

Here, we’ve curated a list of some fun events in Lagos has to offer and highlight all the important information you may need. You’ll also find a list of hotels close to each of the venues in case you want to attend and you are coming from out of town or you just want to rest overnight before jetting back home.

If there’s any event happening this month that we missed,  just let us know in the comment section.

1. Lagos Comic Convention 2017 (COMIC CON17)

Venue: NECA House, Plot 2A, Hakeem Balogun Street, Central Business District, Alausa, Ikeja

Date: September 15 – 16  2017
Time: 9:00 am – 6:00 pm
Ticket price: Free

This one is for all the nerds and comic book lovers out there in Lagos. This is one social event you don’t want to miss.  

The Lagos Comic Convention is more than just comics actually, there will also be animation, film, game and VR exhibits. Prepare to participate in the CosPlay competition with the first prize of N150,000. There will even be a little something for the children at the KidZone which will be a haven for kid-friendly creative workshops, films, and games. The FIST Awards for the best in the comic arts will also be held at the convention. There’s something for whatever secret nerd interest you have.

All play and no work isn’t a great balance, so ComicCon17 is hosting seminars and panel sessions on relevant topics as well.

Entrance is FREE but you can purchase a partnership ticket to enjoy some extra perks. The tickets cost N1000, N3000 and N5000 with different benefits attached.

Hotels Nearby
De Renaissance Hotel
Best Western Hotel, Ikeja
Ostra Hotel
Protea Hotel Select Ikeja

There are several other cheap hotels in Ikeja.

2. The Hangout- For singles of All ages

Venue: Pistis Conference Centre, 1 Elevation/Resurrection Drive , Lekki- Epe Expressway Lagos
Date: September 16, 2017

Time: 10:00 am – 2:00 pm
Tickets: Free

Who says you can’t have fun and keep things clean? The Hangout is going to prove all those people wrong. Get ready to join Fela Durotoye, Godman Akinlabi, Bola Akinlabi, Joy Isa, Yemi Popoola, Meka Olowola and enjoy with music by EBEN.

Prepare to be relaxed and mingle with other single pringles. You would also get the chance to ask your mentors -in the areas of leadership, money, looove and other things- tough and down-to-earth questions.

The event is free but you have to register to save a seat. You can do so here.

Hotels Nearby
Orchid Hotel Lekki
Limeridge Hotel
Sweet Life Home

There are several other cheap hotels in lekki phase 1

3. XTREME LIVE-The Funny Flight

Venue: Muson Centre, Ikoyi
Date: September 17, 2017
Time: From 4:00 pm
Tickets: From N5000

If you like to laugh and you want to laugh on a small budget, you should board this flight. Xtreme Live is a live comedy satire featuring Alibaba, Falz, Kennyblaq, Frank Donga, Owen Gee, Dan D Humorous, Klint-D-Drunk, Skales, Yaw, Orezi, Memory Card, Klintoncod, De Don, Koker, MC Tagwaye (Buhari), Mr. Hyenana and others.

Mark your calendar, you don’t want to miss it.

Hotels Nearby
The George Hotel Ikoyi
Westwood Hotel Ikoyi
Wheatbaker Hotel

There are several other cheap hotels in ikoyi

4. Lagos Fashion 2017

Venue: Plot 1415. Adetokunbo Plot Ademola Street. Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria
Date: September 19, 2017 – September 21, 2017
Time: 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
Tickets: Free

Well, all know that Lagos is the fashion capital of Nigeria so this event is definitely warranted. The Lagos Fashion 2017 is a 2-day event being held to showcase products from clothing, cosmetics jewelry, textile, lifestyle and bridal fashion industries in Nigeria.

The major products that will be displayed at the event will include women’s wear,  men’s wear, kid’s wear, knit wear, sports wear, beach wear, lingerie, evening wear, fashion accessories, bags, shoes, and others.

If you are a clothes hog or you just like to look at pretty things on pretty people, this is the event for you.

Hotels Nearby
Beni Gold Hotel
Victoria Crown Plaza Hotel
Blowfish Hotel
Intercontinental Hotel Lagos

There are several other cheap hotels in Victoria Island in you are looking for a good deal.

5. Made In Nigeria Shoe Expo MINSE 3.0

Venue: Ikeja
Date: September 27 – 29, 2017
Time: from 09:30 AM

It’s time for us to #buynigeriantogrownigeria. It’s never a bad time to support our local businesses because a win for them is a win for our economy. The Made In Nigeria Shoe Expo (MINSE) is an annual footwear and leather fair. The first edition of this year held in Abuja, it is now Lagos’ turn to shine. With over 50 exhibitors and brands,  the shoe expo should be a good place to find any time of footwear. Even for those of us with big feet.

In addition to the exhibitions, Special Master classes would be held and cover topics on ranging from business strategy and tips on leather production. So you won’t just be emptying your pockets, you can enrich your mind as well.

Hotels Nearby
Shoregate Hotel
Apartment Royale Hotel and Suites
City View Hotel

There are several other cheap hotels in Ikeja GRA that are easily accessible to the expo ground

The Loose talk podcast: My biggest takeaway from the interview with MI

 

Image from Pulse

This episode of loose talk podcast is a defining moment in music history, where an artist with the antecedents and status of MI, stepped into the verbal ring with two of the greatest entertainment journalists in Nigerian history. A lot of jabs were thrown, a lot of knock downs and comebacks, there were a lot of calculated punches and spontaneous outbursts of passion. There was also a lot of ego, enough to have a healthy conversation but a bit over the top at times. The episode is a nearly 3 hour podcast that is definitely not going to be fun to watch, or listen to on mobile data but if you love music, especially, African music or African hip-hop in particular, you need to listen to or watch this episode of the loose talk podcast.

The single most important moment for me, in the podcast’s entire three hours was when MI, Osagie, Loose Kanyon and AOT2 went back and forth over an alternative music platform to iTunes for MI to base the numbers of his Chairman Album. Osagie said that over 90% of Nigerians do not have access to iTunes and majority of Nigerian iTunes users are not even in Nigeria. Remember last November when Nigerian banks positioned themselves as enemies of the music industry and all but eliminated the only platforms for Nigerian artistes to make money off album sales. It is sad and in some ways infuriating that, when Nigerian music is once again pushing continental boundaries our artistes are barely making any money off it directly.

MI’s Chairman album is one of the highest selling albums, if not the highest, since it’s release in 2014, it has made about $120,000 (over N43 million) according to MI over three years. There were a lot features on that album, so all the collaborators have to get paid, producers, sound engineers, marketing and PR teams, the record label has to get paid. By the time all the due diligence is done, MI is taking home a lot less than that and remember, this is money made over three years on what is arguably the highest selling album, in that period. Now, imagine how much up and comers take home. A lot have given up and release entire albums for free on Soundcloud hoping to parlay whatever successes into getting an endorsement and high profile gigs.

It takes an unbelievable amount of time, energy and human resources to make an album. Even musicians with near zero talent hire writers, producers and engineers that know the work and all those people have mouths to feed. So it is extremely important that if you can, pay for your music. A number of Nigerian ATM cards work on Deezer, and UAE iTunes store and Apple music, although most Nigerian songs are not on that store. If you have a dollar card you should be able to access Apple music. You can also try barter cards where you can fund a dollar card in your Naira account.

I also think Nigerian artistes, record labels or at least record label backers and entrepreneurs need to talk to themselves and see how they can parlay their influence and resources into either bringing a foreign player like Pandora, Amazon music, Spotify or Google play music to come in, or improve and expand an indigenous platform like MTN music plus, cloud 9, iRoking or Spinlet. The market is ripe, the music is ready and if we play our cards right this will be the dawn of a new age. What we cannot do is sit here and allow this opportunity go to waste.

 

Introverted Talkatives Talking and Ranting A lot